TL;DR: We’ve been on 6 dates so far and it’s only been 2 weeks. Our last date was Sunday morning, we went out in the morning. I said something very minor about someone else. We were talking about body types and I’m a slim guy and I saw someone a bit chubby and said people should do what they want whether they’re skinny or heavy and pointed at a chubbier guy and said something like: “like him, he probably eats a lot more than the average person, but he chooses to like I choose to stay slim” and that triggered her. She had me take her home and I apologized to her that what I said wasn’t appropriate and everything else. I kept apologizing to her proving I’m a great guy and she says she still wants to talk and see each other and I don’t have to apologize anymore.
She did say she’s still on Bumble and will go on other dates. But I ask her if she wanted to hang this weekend since Wednesday and the response is “yeah we can talk about it more” and today I asked if she wants to hang out tonight and she replies “I can’t tonight, maybe another night?” The thing that hurts is we had 6 dates and it was every weekend, sometimes twice in a weekend. Like why not just stay with me. Obviously something is going well.
8 comments
Good for her for not wanting to be around someone who is very likely to fat-shame her.
Wow, yeah, I would have made it clear it’s over. You two are just starting to get to know each other, and you come across as ignorant, mean, and full of yourself. You messed up. Learn from it and do better in the future. You’ll be lucky if she gives you another chance. She doesn’t know you well enough to know if what you said is representative of you and how you think or not, so she has to assume it is.
>proving I’m a great guy
But you aren’t.
You are judgemental and superficial and you body-shamed a total stranger just to flex how in shape you are.
>why not just stay with me
Because you just showed her that you are not not great. She very wisely walked away.
She’s allowed to dislike your attitude and even treat it as a dealbreaker. It’s her prerogative. She doesn’t have to continue seeing you because *you* think you’re great.
Obviously something isn’t going well… and multiple apologies does not prove you are a great guy.
Leave her alone.
She straight up told me that she likes me and wants to continue seeing me. After I explained to her why I like her so much, she told me know one has ever been that sweet or told her that stuff before. I wasn’t trying to fat shame someone, I was showing her an example of how I’m thin and how others are different. I never said I’m perfect, no one is better than anyone. I said it though in a wrong manner. I suck at wording things and it fucks everything up. I just wanted hope and advice.
From what you said, it didn’t seem like you were being insulting or fat-shaming at all. Really depends on how you said it and the wording you used though. Just going baldly from what you said here though, if that’s all there is to it, she seems uber-sensitive to the issue and perhaps has suffered from an ED, is self-conscious about her weight, or something of that sort.
As long as you weren’t insulting and were just stating a bare fact, I don’t think you said anything terribly wrong. But in the future, do try to refrain from commenting on people’s body shapes and sizes. That could very easily go places that you don’t want it to. You are young so I’m sure you can learn from this situation and be more tactful 🙂
keep it pushin bro. she’s not feeling you anymore