so me and my boyfriend have been discussing things we both enjoy/want to do with one another because it just happened to come in conversation. he said he really enjoys eating “it” and wants to have the experience of eating me down there. i’ve never experienced getting eaten out before and i’m a bit scared because i’m not sure if he would be attracted to ‘her’ and im not sure what shes supposed to smell like. my diet is a bit all over the place as well, but i do drink a lot of water and shower regularly. i don’t shave that often, but i don’t let it grow out of control. im extremely insecure about her and im not sure what to do, please help. any advice would be appreciated !! ^_^
31 comments
Just enjoy yourself.
As long as its washed well groomed(not necessarily bald) you should be fine. Just lay back and enjoy
Don’t worry to much. Take a shower before he arrived and try to relax.
If you don’t like something he is doing, tell him.
If you are shy about communication then try holding hands and make a deal like squeezing his hand means you like it, Letting go means you dislike it.
No need to worry about the look down there, we all look different and that makes it fun. There is no “wrong” in something natural.
If you want to do him a favour, you can ask him how he would like her presented. Obviously only if you feel like it. In all other cases being trimmed is absolutly fine.
Some of us men really do love to go down on a woman and can do it for hours. A nice trim and a shower helps.
1. Start with a team shower, clean each other or yourself.
2. Turn the lights down low, but not off just to a little mood lighting. Putting a lamp behind a curtain works great so long as its not a fire danger.
3. Spray a tiny amount of light perfume and I mean a tiny bit just below your belly button.
4. Discuss beforehand whether you want just his tongue or his hands as well.
5. Put a pillow under your hips to make both of you more comfortable.
6. Have a small blanket handy if you feel the need to cover up at any point.
I have asked male partners to “hide” under a pillow while I gave head in my first year of sex till I got comfortable. If you want to you can hide or you can throw a light sheet over him so you cant see. This will gradually disappear as you get more comfortable.
You don’t have to.
Seriously. If it’s something you’re not ready to, explain that. If he’s a good person, he’ll understand and you can both build up to that by trying other things perhaps. Just take things slowly and do it when you’re ready and both 100% willing. Otherwise, you’ll likely be so nervous it won’t even be enjoyable for you (talking from experience with that haha)
Lol communication and trust is all you two need. Relax, he is sharing his world with you just take a shower be clean. Perhaps do some research on pH levels and something. I think ladies really love head as much as guys do. too many guys don’t eat pussy and it’s a problem for thier partners who like to get it. It’s a expectations and communication game. All will be well with you
I spent years trying to get my SO comfortable with going down on her but she was reluctant just like you … once she got to that stage of relaxing and understanding that I REALLY enjoy going down on her, like the scent, etc., she now loves it and demands it every time.
I think it was Dan Savage (who as far as I know ISN’T really into eating pussy!) who said “Eating pussy combines all 5 senses … sight, smell, sound, touch, and taste” … how many things can you say that about?
You’re getting some great advice all over the board but I wanted to add that you should never feel like you have to shave for a partner. Do what makes you feel good. There’s guys that like hairy girls, shaved girls and everything in between. You do you.
Also advice re the shower situation – don’t EVER use anything inside yourself to ‘clean’, be super gentle with any soaps/washes as they can really irritate you and actually cause more problems (itch and scent wise). Just water is best.
If you’re not ready, you’re not ready, any sexual partner should respect that. But I’ll tell you that it’s super enjoyable once you relax into it, and once you know a little bit more about how you like to be touched. You have all the time in the world to grow into loving it, so don’t rush yourself 🙂
Let him feast. Thank me later.
As long as you’re clean nothing else matters, and by clean I don’t mean bald and/or showering right before the act, I just mean clean in general. Some men actually prefer a seasoned smell and not a fresh out of the shower vagina. But if you’re feeling self conscious because it’s your first time you can always freshen up before meeting him.
Relax and enjoy it.
Trim if you feel you’re too hairy (no need to shave bald and irritate yourself) and take a shower to wash your crotch (just a regular shower to make sure you aren’t holding on to any sweat or bathroom odors, no need to wash your vagina in any way that isn’t normal shower behavior) and let him go to town. Unless a doctor has told you there is a medical reason you have a particularly smelly vagina, there is literally nothing else to worry about.
Your hesitance is understandable but remember this is new to you, not him. He knows what a vagina looks and smells like and is asking you to give him a crack at the ol’ gal. You are not going to shock him.
I feel like too many people are extremely „off“ when it comes to the whole diet thing.
If you are a generally healthy person, even with a diet that is „all over the place“ you will at most smell sour/milky (hard to describe) + whatever amount of your own body odor/sweat that will be mixed in.
As long as you don’t consume whole handfuls of onions every day (as an example) or smoke packs of cigs and drink like some party obsessed alcoholic, there is nothing to worry about.
As long as you don’t go without a shower for an entire week, or run a marathon before he goes down on you, you will be fine and he will most likely be into it.
You know how many people go down on their girlfriend or boyfriend spontaneously or knowing they are not fresh? Just because everyone on Reddit acts like they always plan an Outlook meeting for an extensive shower before sex, doesn’t mean it reflects reality.
A certain smell has never hurt anyone and your partner will probably be riled up even further with your natural scent.
Definitely shower and trim. Be careful with shaving because of ingrown hairs, it’s the only place I’ve ever gotten them. So I got a nice women specific electric trimmer.
Your “girl down there” don’t look like much to women, but some men really love it. So when you are ready, just lay back, relax, and let him show you how much he likes it. Being eaten out is AMAZING, I’ve had my biggest orgasms that way. One guy actually made me pass out.
I spent years regularly shaving or waxing because I thought my now husband found it sexier. Dealt with a lot of razor burn etc which caused insecurity and made me hesitant to let him go down. Come to find out that he never cared what state of hairiness or hairlessness I was in he just wanted to go down! So in re to shaving, do what makes you feel most comfortable and can help you be an enthusiastic receiver!
And as far as enthusiasm goes- an enthusiastic giver of head is also important! I hear what you’re saying about being scared he won’t be attracted to her or anxious about the smell. I would tell him what your anxious about and let him know how he might be able to convey his enthusiasm in a way that will make you feel sexy. I personally love to hear some dirty talk about how good she smells/tastes/looks and hear him say things like I should get nice and comfortable because he’s going to take his sweet time.
Communicate these insecurities to him.
Don’t know if this helps, but I had a girlfriend with issues about how her pussy looked. I really wanted to eat her out, so I told her I could do it with my eyes closed/folded instead. She was still hesitant but gave me a chance. She became less insecure everytime we did it. I mean, she still didn’t like how it looked but at least that didn’t get in the way of our sexual life.
I know a “potential smell” is different from outside appearance, but I think you should trust his willingness to do it. I mean, even in the case it smelled bad, which I doubt, I think he would be supportive in looking for solutions to get rid of the smell so he can finally eat pussy.
(I think it takes an actual infection or disease to make it smell bad, but I’m not an expert. Get a medical check up if you feel that you need this kind of reassurance)
Maybe take a shower together as part of the foreplay the first time you intend to do it, that way you’ll feel more relaxed and confident.
Yeah maybe shave completely and see how you feel about it. He may like the feel better when he’s eating you out. If you both want a little hair then no big deal.
You really only need to learn how to relax. It is ok if it takes some time to finish. If you can‘t come the first time he is down there, than don’t give up. You will get more relaxed if you do it more often. Just enjoy, it is an amazing feeling.
Keep in mind that he asked you if he could go down on you — which means this is something he wants to do. He will most likely derive pleasure from it, and is probably open, loving and non-judgmental. Keep all those things in mind if you start to feel a little self-conscious. FWIW, it’s okay to feel self-conscious, the more you do it, the more confident you will become.
I highly recommend showering beforehand, washing all around your labia, perineum (the area between your vagina and anus), and your anus area. (Even if there’s no bum-play, you’ll feel more confident if everything is clean). Use a mild soap, and rinse well with warm water. Keep the area trimmed short, or shaved/waxed if that is your preference.
Maybe watch some videos on oral sex so that you will be prepared for what to expect. Familiarize yourself with the different areas so that you can offer him guidance. Even if he’s experienced, he will benefit from your guidance, because what every woman likes is different. Relax and have fun.
Also, try placing a pillow under your bum/hips. (so much more comfortable).
Just enjoy
I think if you can say pussy you really shouldn’t be venturing into this type of sexual act. How old are you?
I’m so glad I found this post as I had the same question myself, neither of us have done that before, I just gave my first bj last week and he said he really enjoyed it! Hopefully did it right! (20F) perspective.
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One Thing you can do that I have been told affects taste is drink pineapple juice / eat pineapple but otherwise take a shower and enjoy the experience
Girl let him do it PLEASE. Trust me they do not care how you smell or what you look like. Your pussy isn’t supposed to have a certain smell. It’s gonna be ok, I get that it’s nerve wracking though to do something you’ve never experienced but it sounds like he wants to make you feel good
If he’s eating you out and he doesn’t come up for a few minutes lay back and let him eat. Even if it doesn’t smell perfect he’s ridiculous to not want to eat your pussy.
Make sure you communicate to him what you like and what you don’t like (during the act obviously). Put yourself in his position, he would highly appreciate guidance/direction while he’s down there. Imagine you giving him a BJ and he, does and says absolutely nothing (lack of any communication)….
Communication, communication, communication, communication
I recommend the book “She comes first” by Ian Kerner for him to learn how to offer options of pleasuring you.
I hope you’ll have a great time!
I can guarantee you, if he wants to eat you out, he’ll love everything about “it”. There’s no such thing as an “ideal” vagina. If anything, they’re a*ll* ideal. As a fellow man who enjoys giving their partner oral, we love them all. Don’t worry about it too much.
But regardless, you’re doing something new, and it scares you. That’s okay. There’s two key things here. Take it slow, and communicate. Let him know how you feel about this. How you’ve never done this before, that you’re a little scared and to take it slow.
Throughout the whole thing if at any point he does something you don’t like or you want him to stop. *Tell him*. There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s no expectations set in place for you. Sex isn’t a competition. No one gets graded on their performance. It’s about two lovers making each other feel good.
This is why he wants to go down on you. He wants you to enjoy it too, so if at any point you want him to stop or he does something you don’t enjoy, he would want to know too.
Relax, and make sure to have fun!