TLDR; me & my boyfriend have spent so much time together, our relationship has gotten sort of boring. If we didn’t stay together all the time, could that benefit our relationship and bring excitement back or does it have a greater chance of hurting us?
Me (26) and my boyfriend (32) have been dating about a year and a half. When we first started dating, we moved pretty fast as in we were constantly together, almost inseparable. Now, things have slowed down quite a bit. I think we’ve reached that comfortable stage where neither of us are really seeking out the other because we see each other all the time still. For example, the longest we have stayed apart is probably about three days.
Usually I’m at his house or he’s at my house and we are just doing our own thing at the same house.
Lately though, I’ve found it sort of boring. I love him, I enjoy when we do things together, but there isn’t anything that exciting about us lately. It’s not that I fear that our relationship is over, because it doesn’t feel like that at all, but I was just wondering if maybe some time apart could help us get some excitement back.
I had this idea earlier, what if we only stayed with each other once or twice a week or sometimes go a whole week not staying together. Still, we could get dinner sometimes, go to the other’s house for a couple hours, do some activities here and there, but then go back to our respective houses and do our own thing. Maybe even for a couple days, don’t see each other at all. I don’t know.
I feel like this comfortability, this content, this boring feeling is happening too soon. This is something I’d rather feel if we actually did live together and have been for years. So, do y’all think that’d be an okay idea? Taking a step back? I don’t know if it’d end up hurting us or if it could be a good thing for us.
2 comments
Plan some dates and go out together. The real world is boring for the most part, get used to it.
So there are two separate issues here:
1. you feeling like you’re spending too much time together — does that mean you want more time to yourself?
2. you feeling like the relationship has gotten stale/boring.
Do you both have other hobbies and social circles to pursue, that don’t have to do with each other? Someone else asked what _you_ do for fun/hobbies, yet your answer had only “we” in it.
Have you spoken to your bf about this? How does he feel?
Also, a “cooling down” of feelings is to be expected as the relationship moves from infatuation to a more “comfortable” love. It may seem boring in comparison to the excitement and novelty of the “early days”.