My 7 Year relationship has ended and I don’t know what to do. I Know I’ve lost her but I want to recover her. We’ve been through thick and thin together. My best friend for last 7 years. My high school
Sweetheart.
K [22F] and I [23M] Have been together since high school. Yeah the relationship hasn’t been perfect since the beginning but I’ve be coming to a point in my life where everything has been coming together except this relationship and my emotional intelligence.
Last Month wasnt the best for us. I had become a frustrated person while she was trying the best girlfriend that she possibly can. And I ruined it. For new year we had taken a trip where we both were happy and the new year seemed better then never before. Both of us had goals and plans, she is working on opening her own businesses and my real
estate career is doing very good regardless of the market.
But that didnt last as when we got back home the frustration came back. When K & I started dating I was a romantic and gentle person. Always showing her how much i love her. But i got comfortable as we lived together since we were both 19 with her family. There is no excuse for that, we’ve had always have conversations about it, how we are comfortable and we dont want the relationship to go numb. These last two months were crying calls for saving the relationship and I didnt pay attention.
A week ago we had another conversation where i really took it serious. I want to grow more and making the relationship better then ever before. So we each made a list of what we have to do and what we have to change and what our goals are. Mine were to become romantic again, dates, more trips, learn to keep my cool and learn how to not get mad at the small stuff. So far I was doing love letters
every other morning until today (SN: We moved out to our own place in December)
Yesterday I had lashed out because she decided to lightly trim her eyebrows because she didn’t like how dark they are and she wanted to start color them in. At first I was laughing with her about it
because i couldn’t believe it but slowly i got upset because she has beautiful brows and decided to take her outside and close the door on her but let her back in a second later. She didn’t like that and said she will be moving out a few hours later.
Today she moved out and our relationship was up in the air. Later in the evening and she called me and told me she just cant do this anymore and what had happened the night before was the last straw and that she was just done. She wants nothing to do with me and she doesnt want to hear from me she says unless its business. Althought im seeing her again on tuesday since we have to service her car, she doesnt want to speak to me till then.
TL;DR – What should i do? Should i continue with the letters and just drop them in the mailbox in the mornings (that was my original plan for every other morning) Ive got friends who are telling me to keep
perusing her if i really don’t want to lose her and to take her flowers.
I dont want to lose her. I want to be able to show her my growth and show her i could be a better boy friend then before. I know this isnt a one day to the other thing but i want this relationship and im
working on my self for both me and us. I asked her to allow me but she said i can do whatever i want but that i should not expect her to agree to go on dates or to see me in person or receive any energy
from her because she would want to want to give me or do those things but shes doesnt want to do any of those.
Thank you for reading and for everyones opinionsand advice
3 comments
First off, you need to respect her god damn boundaries. You clearly have “work” to do on you. Get help brother. Eye brows shouldn’t ever cause anyone to freak out like that. Anger management and therapy are my two biggest pieces of advice. You shouldn’t even want to date her with how much of a mess you are. If you truly loved her you would realize this and let her go.
You want to show her your growth without working on your growth?
In all of this mess you didn’t really try to improve yourself, you tried to mask your problems without addressing them. The main issue isn’t the lack of romance, it is your anger.
Seek help or find a way to improve yourself first, because she clearly doesn’t want anything to do with the same old you. If you manage, in time, to actually change something you can try reaching out, but she will probably move on and she would be correct in doing so.
You will need to accept a new chapter starts now, if you don’t want it to end like the one before you better get to work.
I think you should leave her be. You should keep growing as a person as you have been trying to do, be single for a while, and then use all that growth to make your next relationship even better without all the baggage.