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If someone pushes/influences you to be kind even when deep down you know you shouldn’t . Repeated breaches of you boundaries, personal or otherwise.
When they ask you for multiple favors while never reciprocating or showing gratitude.
When they use actions you do in good faith against you.
When they make promises they will return the favor. Rarely happens.
When they do something of limited significance as a favor without asking. They will try to call it in as a favor later.
(Sorry for the rant. Got a lot of bad experiences with people in general)
Female answer: she never works to improve herself FOR herself.
They take without asking
You feel like they are in control not you
The moment they feel like they’re entitled to your kindness.
Not saying thank you, not appreciate what you do, keep pushing you to do more, not noticing what you do.
Say no and make sure you pay special attention to their face. You’ll see the “stank face” for half a half second before they catch themselves 9 times out of 10. It’s hard to explain what it looks like but it feels negative and your monkey brain does the rest.
If there’s zero reaction and a stone face, maybe a quick smirk and you’re 100% on their bullshit, leave and take the small loss. That’s a pychopath and outting them can actually be dangerous to you or people around you. It won’t be immediate either, they need time make sure they look innocent. A web of manipulation takes time to weave.
It’s fine if you help them, but they will never, Ever help you.
If they punish/guilt you when you don’t go the extra mile for them bc of other priorities
They’ll continue to ask for you to do things. Eventually they’ll just tell you or take from you without checking first
When asking yourself this question, when they always ask for something, when they only show appreciation right before asking for something, wording requests with “You should…”, just to name a few examples
Kindness cannot be taken advantage of, but my efforts to “be kind” very easily.
If I do something I expect nothing in return.