I don’t understand what I did wrong. I went to visit a friend. I just moved half way across the country for a new job. My friend lives in the next state over, which is great to have someone nearby. She also just started a new job in her hometown. She randomly started catching an attitude with me, when I just asked if she made any friends at her job.

She said how there’s not many people her age who work there. I found that a bit strange and just said something like how strange that was because she lives in a city, that has a large population of people our age (late 20s) , but I’m sure she would find friends soon outside of work.

I mentioned how there’s a ton of people at my job the same age as us, which I explained was a relief to have (after working in a company with college grads). I’m not sure if that triggered her, but I sensed her starting to make my job and new city, seem small and beneath her . She said something how when you’re in a bigger city, things are different and a lot of people stay there longer, which is why they didn’t have much young people.

She started calling my new city, a small area & said that’s why I had so many young people at my job. She said my job was small and smaller companies tend to have younger people. How when you move to a bigger company like hers there’s more mature people. I was confused because I brought up companies in cities bigger than hers, that I new for a fact had people our age. She dismissed it.

She said how I need to get out more. She also gave a backhanded compliment when I mentioned how I liked the scenery in her city, and she said that it wasn’t a big deal, because she sees this everyday and how she’s happy I came to visit so I can experience what a true city is like, and not get excited about what I see in my new place. I’m from a small town, so while my new city is bigger, it’s still relatively small compared to larger metropolitan cities. However, it’s still a huge upgrade to me.

Later on, I just brought up how the food in my new city, wasn’t anything compared to my hometown . Which is in Louisiana , I’m in the Midwest now so there’s a huge difference in culture especially food. I named a signature dish in the new city, that everyone I met didn’t find that appetizing. I was just making a joke, like “you can’t expect much, when the most appetizing thing they have is this. I really miss my moms home cooked food.”

Mind you, she’s never been to this new city I live in, before or even tasted the food there. I was just describing it to her and she said “Louisiana has nasty food too & started describing a dish she tried that tasted like shit and that everyone said she should try it.

I was confused on what she was referring to, because she mentioned a dish, that’s not what Louisiana is known for. She kept getting annoyed with me when I didn’t understand and I she said “I was saying that just to let you know that there’s nasty food everywhere & Louisiana isn’t a place where everything is good

After that she was really distant and I didn’t understand what her deal was.

Did I do or say anything wrong? I could understand if I said something offensive about her hometown, but I was only referring to a city I live in now, that she’s never even been to before.

5 comments
  1. Sounds like a lot of projecting of her own insecurities of some form. Everyone has different experiences and new things are just that… new. Before they become regular things, they are new things. Keep your fresh eyes, fresh experience and keep experincing more!

  2. She’s unhappy and spraying her unhappiness at you.

    No matter what you say she’ll have negativity. Can’t you feel it?

    This has nothing to do with the merits of any city or any food. Or anything other than her own unhappiness.

  3. Ahh the stench of insecurity. She’s flailing in life and trying to flex on you.

    Ignore her till she levels out.

  4. It looks like she’s pissed at that situation. Then you came in and said my life is great! Then she got pissed about that and started negging your city. Then you responded by being rational and defending your city with evidence which pissed her off even more.

    I wouldn’t say it’s your fault she’s pissed. But you should’ve stopped while you were ahead. The more you dug in, the angrier she got. Now she’s being a baby about it.

  5. I mean, I don’t know if she’s insecure about not having made friends at her job. But if she is… and she said there were no people her age and you went (figuratively speaking): that’s strange (I don’t believe you), there should be (because of what I assume about your city), well, you’ll find someone outside of work (there there, I’m sure someone will come along who’s your age and likes you enough to be your friend). Than I can see how you inadvertently triggered her in the area she’s insecure about.

    I’m not excusing how she handled it btw, only explaining.

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