I don’t really enjoy sexual activity with anyone but myself because i’m too self conscious about my body and if I behave or look sexy enough (porn brainwash i think), on top of that penetrating sex is very painful for me for some reason. I can’t focus on the pleasure bc there’s too much pain and it makes sex seem like a chore. I’m also too shy to initiate oral sex on my boyfriend or anything like that. Idk what to do and i feel like i’m good for nothing.
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Your boyfriend is suppose to be a pillar of support for you. If you trust him share with him how you feel. Comunication is key. There are way too many aspects and too many variablea to give you a solution but. If that’s any help my GF had similar problems and we worked together to fix them so you can too if you trust you BF and he is willing to do what a good partner does.
Your hymen may be still there. You should visit a gynecologist.
If the hymen is not there, it may be the case that your pussy is too small. You could try different size toys to find one that feels good.
Oral is pretty much a given.
Try not to think about it as painful. Your partner is your best support pillar when you’re having sex.
Have you tried using lube ?
Porn isn’t the ideal way to have sex. It’s actually kind of the opposite because everything is made to look good on camera. The actors aren’t really having much fun at all