Not meant to be an aggressive or question. For 90% of my life i have not cared about birthdays and I forget them often.

Places to vent are always filled with posts about people saying others forgot their birthday etc and the comments are always filled with other comforting them.

Q1: Is there a real reason why people care or is it sort of innate/out of habit?

Q2: If you forget someone’s birthday how mad are they normally? Is it douchey to be truthful about not caring?

Q3: Do the circumstances change between acquaintances and friends?

Q4: How do you remember? Write them down?

9 comments

  1. For people who don’t have friends, birthdays are a painful reminder of that when the whole day goes by without anyone acknowledging it.

    And then there are people who may feel socially fulfilled, but whose relationships aren’t all that deep. They feel hurt when they wish their friends a happy birthday but it’s not reciprocated on their own birthday. It makes you feel like the friendship is a one way street or otherwise casts doubt on how that friend views you in general. This can spiral into sudden realizations of how lonely you actually are in spite of having friends and acquaintances.

  2. Probably indoctrinated by parents when young, parents who used to dote on them and celebrated their birthdays.

  3. Probably they are used to it being treated as a special day. So they feel down when it’s treated like any other day.

    For me birthday is like any other day except i buy myself a tasty snack.

  4. I acknowledge people’s birthdays if I am actively trying to foster a relationship with them or if I really, really like them and am grateful they were born. I do not understand it – obviously they were born or we wouldn’t interact so why do they need a reminder they were born?

    I remember with a paper calendar (great for if you need to do something, like gifts, cards or organising a catch up) and can make a reminder or event on my device to remember to message. Often though, acquaintances seem to get warm fuzzies if I mention it sometime in the week – wish them a good birthday in advance, or ask how it was and if they got up to anything later. This is usually prompted by overhearing someone else mention it.

  5. I don’t give a shit about my birthday, never have. However, I know a lot of people that get super offended if you don’t reserve the entire month for their birthday month. That is just so weird.

  7. 1.we are taught to care, and remembering someone’s birthday shows you care about them.(obvious you can forget for a whole swathe of unrelated reasons but that’s the impression people get)

    2. I think it depends on the person, I have friends who don’t care and some who do. I think even if you don’t care, if someone you care about cares then you should care, bc you care about them.

    3. yea, of course. its basically a function of how much they care about it and how much you care about them.

    4. I use google calendar

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