Those who have wonderful relationships with their mother or adult daughter, how has your mother/have you fostered that relationship?

10 comments

1. It was tricky when I was a younger teen because my mother and I disagreed on a lot of things. As I grew up, my mom and I still disagree on some issues but we’re more understanding of each other – and agree to disagree sometimes. We’re both super open minded and love to talk, so that’s definitely helped. From my POV, when I started showing my mom that she can trust me to not ruin my own life and started asking her for advice on things I was unsure of, we started to develop more trust and understanding. My mom is amazing and I know from her end, she loved me throughout all our disagreements so she’s kinda been doing what she always has while I became more mature.

2. Honesty. Honesty is the best policy. We are honest. I can tell my mom ANYTHING and she isn’t going to freak out.

3. I only got this close/and growing after I had some issues with girls being mean in school. I then confided in her more. She is my best friend but there are also some annoying things about her personality that stop me from sharing everything.

   I have been trying to communicate what bothers me with her but a lot of these are set in personality issues and I don’t think someone over 60 is going to ever properly change. I don’t expect it either, I just ask her to filter before she speaks on certain topics.

4. Transparency. My mother has always been completely open and honest with me and it made for us to have that sort of “friend” type of relationship while still maintaining parental boundaries with me. So, as I grew older, our relationship would become more relaxed and less focused on rules, and more focused on growing as people—together.
   I consider myself very lucky to have had her as my mother and I hope to emulate her if I ever become a mom as well.

5. I have a shit relationship with my mother, but a great relationship with my adult daughter. I basically did everything different to how my mum parented. Worked out great 🙂

6. My Mum has always had my best interest at heart. We’ve always been friends – we spent a lot of time together when I was a child, talking and bonding. She’s always had my back and accepted me for who I am. We had a short period over my early 20s where we weren’t as close but she was always there for me when I came back. As adults, we try to get as much time together as possible. It also helps that we genuinely like each other.

   I think consistency and seeing your kids for who they are rather than who you want them to be goes really far in building strong relationships.

7. She was there all the time,spoke to me like an intelligent human being,loved me at my worst and showed me the meaning of being a graceful woman. I love her with every fiber in me.

8. She has always been honest, supportive and reliable but at the same she gave me the right amount of space I needed. I insist on that, I think that her strength is her capacity to let go – and as a parent, that’s the most difficult thing one can do. I always remind myself, even when she may get on my nerves, that I will not have her my entire life. It’s important to point out how thankful we are to have each other. I also think that our personalities and mindsets are very much alike, she’s been the same mom to my sister and yet they don’t have the same relationship.

9. My mother has always been a safe place for me, to tell her anything and everything with no judgment or freak-outs. My relationship with her has strengthened since I moved out of my home region nearly 10 years ago, and while we are very close, i don’t place her on the same level as my peer friends and I still respect her as my mother. There are some things she doesn’t know and that I won’t ever tell her, and vice versa.

10. We spent a lot of time together just doing things. My mom raised me the exact opposite of how she was raised which for her was heavily oppressed. She was/is always open (sometimes too much) and we had a healthy dynamic. I am fortunate.