I have been going back and forth in patterns with an ex. Long story short, we didn’t date for very long in the past. We met online.
We’re both from the same country, he is down South and I’m up North. We went from a short but extremely intense whirlwind romance rather quick. Although, he had a lot of anger issues which at the time I did not know about, it’s after I walked away from the situation I would often be faced with possessiveness, jealousy and often face jealous rages whenever I was talking to other people. He says it’s because he “knows that these people want more from me.” even if they are men or women.
I’m quite lonely and isolated anyway. So is he, I feel the need to mention. I don’t really go out often due to both mental and physical illnesses. My friendship circle is extremely small. I guess you could even say they are more so acquittances and that is all.
Whenever I go out or talk to other people I feel tremendous guilt. He has now got it in my head that everyone else, other than him wants something from me. Bare in mind, I already have trust issues.
Of course, it isn’t all as black and white as it may seem. He can be expectionally charming, kind, sweet, romantic and so intelligent. Often in tune with my feelings. I can be avoidant due to previous past trauma.
I keep feeling now is the time to let go but also feeling like he is the only one that will ever understand me.
Please note, I have tried to leave before but after that I get called every name under the sun. I then believe I deserve it and I ask him for forgiveness and it continues again. This is a loop I am struggling to break due to feeling extremely lonely, even in the company of others.
If anyone has any advice or has any similar experiences then I would greatly appreciate them at this time. Thank you for reading.
1 comment
I know exactly what you’re going through because I’ve been there myself. You’re caught in a vicious cycle with your ex, and it’s time to break free and take back control of your life.
First things first, let’s get one thing straight – your ex’s behavior is not okay. Possessiveness, jealousy, and jealous rages are not signs of love or caring, they are a form of emotional manipulation and control. And trust me, you deserve so much better than that.
Now, I know it can be tough to walk away from something that feels familiar and comfortable, but trust me, it’s worth it. You deserve to be in a healthy and happy relationship, and it’s time to start putting yourself first.
Here’s what you do, my friend. First, give yourself a boost of confidence by reminding yourself that you are worthy of love and happiness. Next, surround yourself with supportive friends and family who will validate and support you, and who will not make you feel guilty for talking to other people.
And finally, set boundaries with your ex. Don’t respond to his calls or messages when he’s being abusive or manipulative. Stand up for yourself and take control of the situation.
Now, I know it won’t be easy, but I promise you, it’s worth it. You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and you deserve to be in a healthy and loving relationship. So go out there and take what’s yours.