My (ex?) boyfriend (M18) and I (F18) just broke up and I’m honestly not sure where we stand with each other anymore.
He said he wants a break to focus on his work since he runs his own business. He’s also a computer science major so his work load is a lot this semester. He claims that since he is very focused on his academics and work, he loses interest in everything else. Because of this, he said he lost most of his feelings for me, well relationships as a whole. Normally I would just break up with him completely but he said he still enjoys talking to me and hanging out… but he just doesn’t feel ready for a relationship with how busy he is. He said he feels guilty seeing me try so hard in the relationship when he can’t reciprocate the same effort. I told him I’m fine if he has work and stuff but he said he feels like he’s not ready for a relationship and wants to focus on work. We agreed to take a break in the end but we still talk like we used to. He still replies to my messages right away. He said he’ll still be there for me if I need him and we can still talk and hang out…
Tbh I feel like he’s stringing me along. He knows that I like him so much that I won’t leave completely. He keeps saying we can still talk and be friends. He said that maybe one day when he’s better at time management and wants a relationship, his feelings for me might change.
Deep down I know it’s just an excuse. Everyone around me tells me that if he wanted me enough, he would have made it work. I guess I just don’t know what to do. We are broken up but he said we can still talk and hang out like we used to. He said he’ll still be there for me if I need him. I told him I’ll wait for when he’s ready for a relationship but honestly… I know he doesn’t like me enough. He doesn’t like me enough and that’s the real reason he broke up with me. What do I do? Should I just block him or should I stay his friend. Do breaks ever work out? Is there really a chance he might like me again one day when he wants a relationship? He still cares about me and cried when he broke up with me… which was unexpected since he’s not an emotional guy at all. I guess I just don’t know if I should wait for him to want a relationship or just block and move on.
TLDR my boyfriend wants to focus on school and work and lost feelings for me because he only wants to focus on those things. He said that there’s a chance his feelings will change once he gets better with time management and wants a relationship. He said he still cares for me and we can still talk like we used to. Is it worth waiting for him to be ready or is there really no chance.
2 comments
I would say if he wants to break up so be it. He told you his truth and you see it as well. He is super loaded with school work and running his business. He’s letting you go because he can’t offer to you what he knows you want. Logically the best thing to do in this scenario is to let him have his space to work on himself and you do the same.
Emotionally it’s difficult to let go but you have to remember that the love of your life is yourself. Whatever you do you will always be stuck with yourself.
While he’s doing all that take this time and space to focus on things you wanna try out or get done like schoolwork, gyming, journaling, maybe starting a business…find things to do for yourself that would benefit you. Don’t wait for anyone. When someone decides to leave out of your life either good or bad utilize that time to refocus on your needs and goals.
I agree with your friends and family. My wife and I never took a break while dating. My ex and I did and she’s my ex and still single 15 years later.