What’s the most stereotypical mum scolding you can think of?

27 comments

1. “I’m not mad – I’m disappointed”

2. Don’t come running to me if you break your leg!

3. Your outsourcing your creativity, that is, well…

4. Honestly depends on the demographic of family you are writing for.

   A middle class mothers scolding would sound very different than a scolding from a working class mother.

5. Your room looks like a bombsite

6. “Just you wait til your dad gets home”.

   Don’t know if it was just my mum but she refused to discipline us. She’d wait until my dad got in from work and then got him to bollock us.

7. Being full named, scariest shit ever.

8. “its like blackpool illuminations in here” when i leave all the lights on

9. ‘If X jumped off a cliff, would you!?!’

   Rights of passage for any child, that one

10. You’ve let yourself down badly son…

11. Any time I suggested going for a job which wasn’t 100% on a desk “You’ve got a death wish! A death wish!”

12. The eye stare mums give. You know you’ve done something wrong

13. After everything I’ve done to raise you, you did this behind my back…
    Something along those lines maybe

14. I always knew you’d let me down, I just didn’t realise how much

15. I’ll give you something to cry about!

16. What did your last servant die of?

    Do you think we live in a barn?

    There’s children starving in Africa.

    This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.

17. Pack it in, or I’ll knock your block off!

    (Not that she ever actually hit us)

18. “Make sure you put a coat on, your kidneys will get cold”

    “Don’t bend over in that skirt unless you want to come back pregnant”

19. Because I said so.
    (When I accidentally kick something) That’s the devil.
    Starving children in Africa (we lived in South Africa)

20. I’m starving!
    No you’re not, children in Africa are starving, you are just hungry!

    Definitely the full name used. Made me panic.

    Do you have something to tell me? Always scared me as I knew I’d done something wrong but didn’t know which one she had found out about!

21. Would lady Diana speak like that!?

22. There’s more meat on a butcher’s pencil! Get it eaten!

23. Secretly playing video games late at night, she gets out of bed and finds you mid game

24. I’m not angry I’m disappointed

25. [insert full name] I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it

26. All the pens we’ve got in this house, why can I never find one when I need one?

27. Not so much a scolding, but I was always told when crying ‘Carry on, the more you cry, the less you’ll wee!’