TL;DR my ex blocked me on everything overnight when we were on super good terms, and i don’t know what to do about it + I am an anxious person who has no idea what to do
hey y’all, i’ve read a million reddit posts and other articles on this but am still finding myself stuck. basically, my [22 F] ex-partner [23 M] blocked me on everything yesterday nearly two years after we’ve broken up. we’ve talked a few times since the breakup, caught up even, and i thought we were in a better place than we’d ever been (we go to the same small school, so if we run into each other all the time it’s better to be on good terms, eh?). i don’t reach out ever because i get the vibe he doesn’t want that.
anyways, now i’m super confused and in my head. i’m guilty of checking their socials sometimes- it’s easy to search their name but it’s just a bad habit i’m getting out of. that’s the worst of it.
i don’t try to run into them or their new partner ever. i’m worried some rumor has started about me (we’re in college but people act like high schoolers here sometimes). i also wonder if they were just under the influence or something and got paranoid about me, and blocked me for that reason (it happened overnight). they have it where they’re still following me and i can message them, i just can’t see their stuff. anyone have advice on this? should i message him to see what’s up? i finally felt like everything was fine and like, not awkward between us. i’m a super anxious person and this is eating me alive. thank you.
5 comments
The hard truth is that you and your ex don’t owe each other anymore. It’s great you were on good terms. But even with that, even with you not running into him and hia new partner and not reaching out, he did not “owe it to you” to stay connected for the rest of your lives. His life is not your business. You’re both old enough to make your own decisions and he has decided to block you. He doesn’t owe you any explanation so don’t expect one. It’s unhealthy that you are so anxious and still preoccupied with him after a whole year and a half of not being together. Find a therapist and start the work of truly moving on from him as he has clearly moved on from you and has no interest in keeping you in his life.
Stage one – break up
Stage two – maybe get back together
Stage three – actually break up and cut ties
There is a point after a breakup where sometimes you just want to move on and forget about the other person. It sounds like they hit that point.
It’s less about you doing something wrong and more about them wanting to move on with their life.
I think you might think of your situation with your ex a little differently than what reality actually is. You say you were on super good terms, in a better place than ever, yet you’ve only talked a few times and you never reach out to your ex first? You aren’t actually friends, or so it seems, more like him reaching occasionally out to check on you or something. How have you been since the breakup?
I recommend you do not message to ask about it at this time, you’d only confirm to him that you keep an eye his socials by doing so, which seems to happen way more often than just ‘sometimes’, especially since you noticed this pretty much immediately after it happened.
He blocked your access for a reason. Maybe the new partner felt insecure and asked him to block you, maybe he just want to cut ties, maybe he wanted to see if you would notice/how quickly you’d notice and ask about it, maybe he found out you keep an eye on his socials, or maybe he’s posted things he didn’t want you to see, it doesn’t matter in the end, it only matters that he chose to do it, and that he did it without talking to you about it first.
I know, it really f–ing sucks not knowing the why and it makes you wonder if you’ve done something wrong, but sometimes you just have to deal with not getting any answers or understanding why something happened. Unfortunately that’s just how life is sometimes.
Just leave it be. He may be more serious with someone else and blocked you because you’re not close, so who cares. You’re likely heavily reading into this when it’s not even about you.