When we first started dating it was every single time we saw each other, and when we weren’t having sex, we were always talking about it and what we wanted to do next time. (This wasn’t everything we discussed, obviously we had great communication which is what led to the amazing sex life)
Anyways, I’ve noticed since we’ve been engaged the amount of sex we’ve had has dropped off considerably. Sure there’s mistakes I’ve made, but nothing that has made us question how we feel about each other. For example, today I saw my toothbrush that I just bought, and she thought it was an older one and used it to clean the drain. I wasn’t upset at all, because I knew she didn’t do it on purpose, and I wanted to text something like, “I’ll just have to punish you later for it” as she def likes when I take control. But I didn’t send the message because I was just thinking she would just roll her eyes and change the subject. Also I’m not in as good as shape when we met, but neither is she. We are both still physically fit, and neither of us are overweight. What are some things I can do to spice things up? And yes we’ve talked about the decline, and she says she’s just been stressed from work, and I know that’s very true. I just want to be a way for her to decompress all that stress. Also I’m 100% positive there’s no “other guy”
TLDR: What can I do to get our sex life things back to where they were or at least help pick up the pace?
5 comments
Sounds like a perfectly normal relationship to me. That crazy physical attraction phase lasts about 3 months.
You sound like you are making excuses for the decline in sex. Maybe you need to approach sex from a different angle. Try seducing her. Sex for women can become boring and dull. Try a different routine. Try romancing her. Maybe she is missing that.
You indicate that the change happened after you moved in together. How are you all dividing the household labor?
Sounds like the natural evolution of a relationship. Can’t keep up the honeymoon phase forever. We found that prescheduling sex 2 days per week worked great for us and we just filled in the other days with whatever we felt like, but the two days were always a go. When we were young it was Fri and Sat nights. After kids and being tired all the time it became Sat and Sun mornings. We knew it was coming and got hyped for it.
Helps greatly if you have some time on your hands, and you can figure out how to treat her in sweet ways that only you know she likes because you know her better than anyone else.
Anyway the scheduling worked for us because even if you’re not getting it during the week (and we often found time) you know it’s around the bend and you can look forward to it.
There is nothing you can do except find a hobby or start working out or something. I have been married for 27 years and there is always some reason you are supposed to understand why you don’t get as much sex as you used to.