I went on a date with a guy, it went really well. I was telling my cousin about him, she quickly searches his first name and finds posts from him seeking a SPECIFICALLY female roommate to live with him. I understand when people are open to any gender of roommate or someone who seeks a roommate of the same gender because they don’t want the complications of living with someone they might become attracted to. I do not, however, understand a single straight man who would only consider female roommates unless he’s going into it with an ulterior motive.
Am I wrong in thinking this is a red flag? Ofc I’m going to ask him about it if I do decide to see him again, but it seems very strange to say the least.
42 comments
Yea big red flag. Weird as hell.
Yes
I’m a single straight man and I would 100% prefer a female roommate. 95% of my friends are female and I have male trauma in my past. That’s just me though. Men and women can coexist without wanting more than friendship.
With just that information alone, I’d consider it a yellow flag. At least ask him about it, see what the whole female only thing is about. There may be a rational explanation. There may be a creepy explanation.
If you hit it off, I’d say you can at least ask, and keep it in your back pocket as a caution.
I don’t think it’s a red flat. I’m a female that prefers with men, purely because they don’t tend to use my things 😅.
Yes!! Like you said the same gender reasonable, any person who applies reasonable. Straight man wanting only females nope kind of strange.
I have been living with 4 other female roommates for the past 1.5 years. I too have male trauma in my past. I would also love to specifically find female roommates in the future. I just get along easier with women at this point. It’s good you are going to talk to him about it and see what comes of it. Open communication is always honoured by an open person (in this case if he is an open person).
It could be a cleanliness thing. Dudes are animals . Noone trying to come home after a long day of work to beer cans, pizza crust and cum socks planted like mines across the floor of the apartment
Some people have had negative or even traumatic experiences with men in the past and want to avoid living with them. Men do some fucked up shit, and not solely to women either.
Ask him about it. Or does his reason for doing it not matter?
He didn’t say hot female. In my experience women are better roommates in general than dudes.
Not necessarily bad. Guys can be kinda gross to live with lol. Maybe he just knows a female will clean up after herself. I would only be concerned if he expected her to clean up after him.
Could go 50/50. Maybe wants to cohabitate to practice for future marriage, maybe wants live in sex partner. Maybe wants a female for benign reasons, maybe because he has the spare bedroom wired with cameras and plans to sell the videos. Maybe he tried having male roommates and one was LGBTQ that tried shit. That all said if it feels off to you then its off to you. Only you can say what a redflag is to you.
He wants his roommate to get stuck in the washing machine
I think it’s OK – my husband thought women were cleaner and tidier, as well as more prompt with payment, in his flatting days. Nothing creepy about it.
Reminds me of the HIMYM Episode where every time Ted has a date, his friends search for the person online and point out one fact which causes Ted to fuck up the date because he focusses too much on that one fact despite the date going so well.
Not necessarily a red flag, when I rent a room out I’ll be looking for a female housemate. Women are just easier to live with. If he gives of creeps vibes that should be a red flag not the gender housemate he chooses
Yeah, unless he only really gets along with girls, I see no reason to do that besides wanting someone he can hookup with.
Without context you can’t possibly know his motivations for the request. Why not ask first before you jump to conclusions?
I was this guy although I had never said it directly nor indirectly. Since I needed a roommate I wanted someone I can learn from and who I may find interesting enough. That person is going to share my home!
The older I get (maybe from the age the of 18) I’m losing interest in obtaining friendships with guys. Empathy, care and honest companionship are traits I look for in people. And much more I’m finding it in women around me, that’s why they form a clear majority of my closest friends circle
I have yet to hear a good reason for a dude obly wanting female roomates or tge otger way around that is not either creepy or super sexist.
I would rather live with a woman, because almost all of my bad experiences have been because of men and I’ve had bad times living with men.
It’s a lot to do with the “alpha” game I really don’t want anything to do with. A lot of guys like to take up excessive space, be loud and pushy to appear dominant. It’s extremely annoying having to live with that everyday is too much.
Why don’t you ask him about it and find out.
Extremely large, extremely red flag, fluttering violently in the breeze. I would not even suggest meeting him.
I think he can have a preference, but stating so openly comes off as creepy.
Super weird , do not do it.
reminds me of when I was apartment hunting over the summer .. I made a post in the local Facebook community page and I got hundreds of messages from guys literally offering me a free room.
Nobody normal who is able to have a normal relationship with other people specifies about gender. And if anything they would go with the same gender for comfortability. Purposely looking for someone of the opposite sex and you said he went on a date with you so you know that that’s the sex he is attracted to is a massive flag. There’s probably tiny security cameras hooked up everywhere in the apartment already for whoever is about to move in.
Red flag for sure, because why does it matter? Sounds creepy and sexist.
I’m a guy and have been considering finding a roommate. When I was thinking about it I actually decided I’d prefer a female roommate also. In my experience women are cleaner, more considerate and more predictable as far as roommates go. I don’t think it’s a big deal.
This is why I don’t want to marry a man. Sure I will have sex with one. But I don’t want to live with them.
Could be a bunch of things:
Maybe he wants an FWB he lives with
Maybe he thinks that women will be easier to live with in terms of cleanliness
Maybe he’s had bad experiences living with other men
Not really much you can conclude based on what little info you have
I’ve had male and female roommates and let me just say. My bad experiences were always with males.. never having good house keeping skills when it came time.for their turn in cleaning.up they would half ass it. I even got into a physical altercation with one roomate over him.being drunk and wantimg.to.blast music all through the night when I have neighbors who work.early.the next day. I didn’t want to have issues with my landlord but he didn’t seem to care. So.id prefer women as roommates simply because at least we can communicate and be more responsible and reasonable when it comes.to splitting the bills and or house chores I know it isn’t always like this with every woman but it’s worked for me..
Not for me.
I dated a guy like this once, and it was just one red flag about his relationship with women after another.
Would not recommend.
As a guy I really wouldn’t know why I would want specifically a female roommate unless I thought maybe they’d be cleaner? Which as a guy who has a twin sister and has been in a relationship with a women for almost a decade i know now that def isn’t set in stone lol.
Hmmm idk it could be a million reasons you should ask him and hope he gives you an honest question. I know if it was me asking for a female roommate there would be a good chance it’s cause In the back of my mind I would try/want to sleep with said roommate. Like I can’t think of any scenario where it would be more beneficial except for the slight possibility of being able to try to sleep with her.
So yes I would say red flag unless he comes up with some legit reason that you feel is genuine.
I think it’s a red flag, I live with two girls, but it only ended up working out because they were open to living with a guy. I think it’s weird when they specifically ask for a female roommate, it’s creepy unless they’re gay
Nah that’s a red flag
Red flag and creepy. And you are a woman, I’m sure you got a vibe, what’s your intuition saying?
I liked living with guys too, but those were guys I already knew & trusted. I’d never move in with someone I knew nothing about.
The problem with those kinds of ads…unless it’s one of those ‘anything goes’ sites you can’t post ads that excludes anyone based on gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, etc. Do what you want with your personal life, but you can’t use housing ads to discriminate. At least where I live, they’ll get removed almost immediately.
The other thing is the types of people who respond, I’m guessing, are often looking for a transactional relationship; the men are looking for a live-in sexual partner while the women are looking for a free place to live. Of course, these kinds of men usually find nothing because the women who reply just got out of jail or weigh 400 lbs or are much older than the kind of ‘female roommate’ he has in mind. There are no hot 19-yr-old college cheerleaders who are gonna reply to ads like that. (Many) guys don’t seem to get this.
If it sounds weird, it is.
i prefer girl roommates just because they tend to be a bit cleaner, quieter and approachable on w.e issues. Im sure most girl will agree but a decent amount of guys are just nasty.
I feel the same as a lot of us guys do on here. I would rather have a female roommate due to these reasons. As guys and oir aloha personalities, we are always in completion with each other and avoid the emotional events, we never talk about our feelings because it could be a sign of weakness among other guys.
Having a female roommate makes it easier to talk to them about those situations and I don’t always have to be on the alert, fight or flight , competing with the guys, etc. It’s easy to relax and be calm in a neutral environment.
“He wants to go deep inside, yeeuuh”- hodgetwins
As a woman who has had male & female roommates, I much prefer men as a roommate. Life is just easier
He’s been watching too much porn thinking about what she would do if she couldn’t pay the rent.