I’m afraid my GF will end it all if we break up. I feel stuck.

So I will try to make this as summarized as possible with still providing important details.

I (30yo) technically met my GF (30yo) back in high school. We didn’t know each other that well but knew of each other. Fast forward 10 years. I knew she was married with a daughter due to social media, but noticed no pictures of him or a ring on her finger. I found her very attractive and knew we had quite a few interests in common. I messaged her and she told me she was actively going through her divorce. We started going on dates and really hitting it off.

She moved out of her husbands house shortly after we started “dating” and moved in with her grandmother temporarily. About 7 months into our relationship, she was still living with her grandma but we thought she should just move in with me (a little quick for me but w/e). So she moved in and we have lived together for almost a year now.

Here is where the issue comes. So it’s been over a year and she is still not officially divorced but yet talks about us getting married and kids, when I bring up that we can’t even do any of that until she’s divorced she gets upset. We have been arguing more and more, it seems our patience is wearing thin with each other. Of course we have our good days, but you can just tell things aren’t the same and are “off”. She has a 3 year old daughter that she shares 50% custody with her (ex) husband (every other week). So every other week it is her and her daughter living with me in my house. As mentioned, we have been fighting more and more, even to the point where she has told me she doesn’t want to be in this relationship any more.

It is also important to note that I literally pay for everything (mortgage, bills, grocery (most the time), both cell bills) literally everything. It’s bleeding my dry. The other night we had an argument and she was crying and very upset. She got out of bed and said “I’m over it all, I give up on everything”. She went into the bathroom and refused to come out. I finally got in and she told me she had hurt herself (cut herself on the leg). This isn’t the first time she has said or mentioned hurting herself.

Fast forward a day or so and we go out to lunch, we are talking about our fight and the biggest red flag comes out. She says she Ioves me but doesn’t know if she wants to be in this relationship. In the same breath she also says, but she feels stuck because she wouldn’t be able to live by herself with her daughter (financially). She has a place to live and all her bills paid, so she is afraid to leave.

This obviously upset me, I know she loves me and tells me I’m her soulmate all the time. But I don’t want to be in this relationship if her feelings are fading and she is only with me to make her life easier. She also mentioned she couldn’t do life without me and she didn’t know what she would do if she ever lost me.

So, I’m afraid that if I break it off and ask her to move out she is going to really do something bad to herself. I also love her too much to make her move out with no real place to go. I feel trapped.

Also worth noting that I do love her, in the past she has been very good to me and for me. So part of me doesn’t want to lose her, the other part isn’t happy anymore. I’m conflicted with it all.

Tl;dr – Scared my girlfriend will badly hurt herself (or worse) if I break up with her. She also lives with me and doesn’t have a real place to go if she moves out. She’s mentioned she can’t do life without me and she didn’t know what she would do if she ever lost me. I also am feeling used as I pay for mostly everything and she has mentioned she couldn’t support herself if we ever broke up. I feel trapped.