Fairly sure this girl found me good looking but then said she just wanted to be friends when I tried asking her out. So confused…

42 comments

  2. Yes.

    Physical attraction is only one part of things. And also if someone is a jerk, they become actively less physically attractive to me. Also, I can be physically attracted to someone, like them as a person, and just know that we wouldn’t be good romantic partners.

  3. Yes. Not everything is about looks. As someone else says, good looks don’t equal compatibility. If you don’t get along in any other way, what’s the point?

    I’ve rejected hot guys who were extremely dry/boring and I couldn’t even have a convo with them. I’ve also rejected ones that were assholes. They need to have a good personality and we need to be able to get along.

  7. Sometimes girls and guys just know right away if there is chemistry. If there’s that spark, then they’ll pursue dating or a relationship. If there’s no spark, some people will not waste their time.

  8. Yes. He tried too hard to be funny and was just out of a very serious relationship, so I could tell he wasn’t over his ex and ready for the kind of commitment I was looking for.

  9. Sure. I have been in a relationship already, or I wasn’t looking for one because work was kicking my ass, or he lived too far away, or I was just getting over a breakup, or or or….

    There’s a million and one reasons someone might not be interested in a relationship with you that have absolutely nothing to do with you. It’s not personal. It doesn’t say even the slightest thing about whether you’re attractive or not.

  10. Yes.

    External beauty doesn’t necessarily mean internal beauty.

    I have no need for superficially beautiful people who think that means they deserve more or can be mean and hurtful to others.

  14. Yeah if you don’t vibe. I dated a really gorgeous guy before but I just didn’t click with him. It fizzled out and I wasn’t bothered

  15. Yeah, I’ve rejected quite a few attractive people. Someone being attractive just means that I enjoy the way they look. It does not mean I would enjoy dating them or having sex with them.

  16. Looks aren’t really high on the list of things I look for in a partner, so I’d pass on attractive people who didn’t have the specific traits I was looking for.

    Seems weird that that would be hard to understand – partners are more than decorations lol

  18. Yes. Looks don’t matter as much as personality. If the chemistry isn’t there, then I don’t continue just because someone is conventionally attractive.

  20. 100% yes, there’s more to a person that just physical attraction. Im just not a person thats going to fuck something just to fuck. Theres nothing more sexy than a person that has self respect.

  21. I can find someone physically attractive and still not FEEL attraction towards them. It’s two different things

  22. Sometimes he’s really cute until he says something stupid, attraction goes from 100 to zero just like that

  23. Assuming that I don’t know the person that well and idk if we’re compatible yet, I’ll definitely agree if I find him attractive, unless he says or does something to completely ruin things.

  24. Just because you’re good looking doesn’t mean you were the right fit. Looks aren’t everything. Looks aren’t even a minimum for women. Being kind, considerate, genuine, actually listening, making them laugh, loyalty, being interested in them and not just yourself… It could be many things. But to me just from your title, you put attraction up high on the priorities list and she probably isn’t interested in that at all.

  25. I had a crush on a guy who was attractive for a real long time and our personalities seemed to align very well, then I noticed he tends to date extremely vulnerable women and gets a little too offended when you don’t agree with him on things. Turned me off even though he’s physically built like a sex god

  26. Absolutely. One of the guys I recently stopped seeing was so fine and also really good in bed. He just ended up being kind of pathetic. Like he was always looking to me for guidance on how to live his life. And not like advice / friendship but for me to like, save him. He was very immature and had no direction and no grip on his own life. And also was kind of a liar. Very hot in every single way but just kind of pathetic. I couldn’t do it.

  28. Some things will always be left unsaid. It really depends on the person. She could have a boyfriend, she may not find you dating material, maybe one of her friends called dibs who knows. Don’t ask either. You’re better off moving on and if she dug you she would realize later on. Maybe she’s into someone else.

  29. A lot of times “let’s be friends” is code for them just trying to let you down easy

  30. Women need to feel sexually attracted, they’re not like us who would blow our load on just about any woman. Looks get you in but you’re going to have to do more like make her laugh or build up a bit of sexual tension.

  33. Well, looks aren’t everything.

    There’s a good looking guy at the gym, and some of his body language suggests that he’s also a nice person and possibly compatible in personality with me.

    But we’ve never talked, just made eye contact/smiled at each other. If we talk and I realize I had the wrong impression of his personality, I may be less interested.

    I’m also a little worried that he’s significantly younger and in a different place in his life than I am. I’m 31 and terrible at guessing ages. He could be anywhere from 20-35. No hate to a younger guy, I would just really have to decide if I could be comfortable with that.

    A person does not have to be a jerk to be a bad match.

  34. Yes. There were a few guys I thought were cute in college but once I talked to them I realized we would never make each other happy. One guy just had no interests or hobbies so I felt exhausted talking to him like I was supposed to entertain him. No motivation to cultivate any hobbies either. He asked me out but I declined because I knew it wasn’t going to go well. That ended my attraction to him.

  35. Yes, twice.

    Both women were very intelligent on the academic side of things, gifted childs that have been attractive all their live, but due to their lack of familarity with failure they were very immature and lacked a ton on the street smarts side of things, wich I prioritize over academic success now that I’ve grown.

  36. Didn’t read any responses. Objectively good looking doesn’t mean subjectively good looking. In addition to that either “good looking” doesn’t always equate to attraction.

  37. Yes, because I was too scared he was a player and I wasn’t into that. I really liked him, but at the time, it just wasn’t worth the risk.

  38. Yes, she broke up with her boyfriend two weeks before that and something about that irked me. He was a good guy.

  40. A guy told me recently that when he’s out with the guys he’s out with the guys and ain’t gonna give any girl the time of day… Maybe it’s that

  41. A hell of a lot of people don’t just look at a person, think “you’re conventionally hot” and decide they want to date.

    I’ve broken off most of the dating I’ve done because I wasn’t attracted to them. Not because they weren’t hot, but because I wasn’t into them. I find personality way sexier than appearances, and I’m frequently not attracted to conventionally hot people.

  42. Yes I have. If it’s someone I know and consider to be a friend or associate I don’t date them. I just don’t date my friends. I will also reject them if their personality isn’t something I care for. They don’t have even to be horrible or have personality traits that are gross or bother me but I may feel we just wouldn’t be a good match. At the end of the day, physical attraction isn’t everything. If I don’t like the person themselves or their personality ill pass on dating them.

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like