I told this guy that I’m a pathological narcissist during a moment of weakness and I think I’ve ruined everything

This is a rather twisted story, but I have some free time and I’ll try to explain everything in a linear way: I’m a 36 year old woman I’m hanging out with a 23 year old guy.. my marriage fell apart last year, but I’m not in a rush to find another man/start a family because I already a mom, I have a 21 year old son who’s still living with me because he’s in University.

I met this guy in August, he hit on me, he found me very fascinating, and not only because of my looks. He’s an emotionally intelligent guy, he looks for different qualities in a woman and that’s something I like, I do want to be liked as a person and not just because I look good. He likes me… because I’m a teacher, because i’m nice and caring, because I’m ”strong and independent”, and he likes my looks because I’m tall (5’10) and because.. well, he really likes my face.

He would text me every other day, he would make up scenarios in his head, ”if you’d been my teacher in high school..” and start fantasizing out loud and joke about it, ”I would’ve s loved to be scolded by you” which was cute lol.

I’m a pathological narcissist, I was diagnosed with narcissism by 3 different therapists when I was younger, and this is something I never tell anyone for obvious reasons.

I have a tendency to walk away from relationships as soon as the honeymoon phase ends, I really need the intense emotions, I was frustrated because I really like our relationship and I thought the hooneymoon phase was ending but it was actually just me getting bored, he was just acting normal as usual.

I told him ”I don’t think this’ll last long” which scared him, I even told him ”I don’t feel anything for you anymore. You’re just some random stranger to me”, he did something I found very cute, he tried to remind me of our first conversations, he would say ”remember when…?” and send old screenshots, he was trying to evoke memories and feelings, he said ”I’ll always remember that 25h of August… honestly, I’m afraid of losing you”. Everything was great so far, but then I told him I’m a narcissist and that I’ve been diagnosed by 3 people.

His attitude changed after this, even though we have texted each other again after this, he seems like he doesn’t appreciate me as much as before, and I understand it.. diagnosed by 3 different people? Who the heck talks to three different therapists? He probably thinks I’m some freak, not the perfect person he thought I was, he doesn’t take me seriously anymore basically.

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yesterday he even said”I’m a little frustrated because I want to find a woman who cares about me”, he was acting like I don’t exist, I ignored that because we aren’t in an official relationship, but a few hours later I said ”you said something that pissed me off earlier. You want a woman who cares about you? What am I then? Aren’t I a woman?” and he apologized.

What is going through his mind? Does he think I’m just some flawed person? He doesn’t seem to take me seriously anymore as a person if that makes sense.

I have no idea why I say those things, I guess it was a moment of frustration and weakness which I’ll learn from, but I’m afraid I ruined everything.