i’ve been looking into getting a dildo for a while. I’ve always been interested in it, since every time I’ve attempted to have sex, I’ve had to tap out because of the pain I felt. I finally ended up getting one, successfully was able to use it, but it feels like… nothing? Aside from a little pain in my stomach, it doesn’t feel like much at all. I was really hoping that it would emit some pleasure, but nothing. am i just weird? I don’t really know what to do. will real sex feel this unpleasurable? are there any ways i can try to get stimulation from this? pls helpp 🙁
Edit: the pain isn’t from insertion, it’s inside me. It hurts to thrust as well, i dont feel any pleasure at all 🙁
6 comments
Nah you’re not out of the norm. I’m a guy but my partners in the past have talked about their experiences with dildos similarly and it doesn’t really surprise me. There are way too many actions and sensations during sex that can’t be replicated by inanimate objects. At the end of the day it’s a piece of plastic or silicone.
It doesn’t have a name, a personality, blood flowing through it, there’s no man on top of you telling you things or looking at you etc. If it makes you feel better I and a couple of buddies of mine have talked about pocket pussies in the same way, they’re nothing special and don’t really replicate anything compared to having a girl on you.
Maybe a really expensive one with motors, heat, vibrations etc. would be better both in regards to pocket pussies/dildos but it’s not worth it imo.
Sure real sex feels pleasurable but the key ingredient is tied to the other person. Intimacy/desire may be the missing ingredient. Everyone is wired differently.
Masturbation is different than sex. Sometimes you just need a release – guessing that putting a dildo inside isn’t doing it for you.
Maybe look for other ways to self pleasure that does not involve penetration?
Good luck!
I actually made a post kind of similar to this a while ago that blew up talking about how when I use fingers/dildos on myself it feels like nothing, if not surgical. I do like when other people use them on me though. You’re not alone. I used to work in a sex toy store and a lot of women prefer clit vibes over internal toys. Try those out!
Your vagina has relatively few nerve endings, which makes sense because women have babies. Relatively few women can have an orgasm from PIV alone. Woman’s sexual pleasure comes primarily from the clitoris, not just the part you can see, but from internal erectile tissue that runs along either side of the opening to the vagina. When you have penetrative sex, most of the stimulation comes from the pressure of the man’s pelvic area on the clit, which is why grinding motions feel good. A dildo really doesn’t do that. It’s just moving in and out of the vagina without encountering the areas where most of the nerve endings lie.
Some women do enjoy stimulating the g spot inside the vagina but not everyone does and the dildo might not be touching it.
Despite their presence in porn, many women don’t feel much from them. Vibrators are different in that they can be directed to the sensitive areas and vibration reaches down to stimulate the internal branches of the clit.
It took me some time to experiment with insertable toys and have them feel good. My suggestion is to try inserting it fairly shallowly (definitely not far enough inside to hurt) and “squeeze” onto it while you touch your clit or use a vibrator. See if that feels good or if you like the sensation – for me, at first it wasn’t so much that I felt pleasure inside my vagina, but I found that squeezing onto something helped me tense my muscles in a way that made my orgasms stronger. But the more I did this, the more I started to like the feeling of having something inside me for it’s own sake and the more I learned what angles and small motions felt good.
I felt the same way for a long time! What helped me was paying some attention to my clit first, getting worked up and then using a dildo, that would make it actually feel nice. Also using the dildo and stimulating ur clit at the same time also works. But sometimes there isnt a solution and some things just arent enjoyable for some people, hope u can figure it out!