Whenever I meet anyone new, they wouldn’t show any interest in talking to me. I overcame my pride and always be the conversation starter, but more often than not, the other party always seems uninterested, although I always avoid sensitive topic and go for broader topics instead.
It’s worse whenever I go out with some acquaintances. New people would always just spend the entire time talking to the people I am with while I am left alone at the side. Occasionally, they would just turn around and look at me, but after that return to conversing among one another, without giving me a chance to speak.
I hate being a loner, I want close friends. I have people I can call acquaintance, but not a single close friend. I do not have anyone whom I can talk to about my personal struggles or share my moment of happiness with.
Is there any way I can be less socially hated? I feel like a failure and a disgrace whenever I get left out and I hate it.
2 comments
Don’t avoid sensitive topics and look for people who match your energy. They should be just as excited to see you as you are excited to see them.
I don’t do well with small talk and I learned after a lot of failed friendships that the only ones that remained throughout many years of my life were people who match my energy and I can get into deep and interesting (to us) conversations with. I met these friends doing activities where I heard people typically make friends; work, theatre, dating apps, traveling, concerts, bars, plugs, reddit… I just started doing the things I like by myself and had a goal to say hi and introduce myself to at least 2 people wherever I went.
All this to say my advice is based on personal experience with a handful of longtime friendships (one of them being over 30 years old!). I’m not sure if my method is the right way, but it’s a way that has worked about 5 times for me.
Making clsoe friends is more aobut finding your people more than being likeable imo. Your people meaning people with similar interests, outlooks on life, goals.
One thing to do is seek out hobbies that would include these people. For me that was board gaming, I found out that I met so many people that are similar to me doing that.
Another thing to do is aggressively tlak about your interests, hobbies, experiences, etc. So that people who are like you will hear and be interested in you. Going for broader topics might be what hurts you.