this post sounds very petty from the title but let me give you some context. my boyfriend and i have been dating for 11 months now and he’s truly my best friend and he has been for 4 years. however there is an issue in our relationship which we’ve both spoken about but it has kinda come up again.
we both haven’t posted each other on social media as a couple yet. at first this didn’t really bother us bc we were both confident in our relationship and didn’t need to “prove” it to others. however, my bf admitted it does bother him bc i used to post my ex A LOT and it bothers me bc he claims he’s never posted any of his ex gf’s before and i don’t want to be just another girl to him. we both agreed to post each other for our one year and that’s how we’ll make it “official” to social media.
after our convo, my bf made a few highlights on ig, adding old stories he posted from 2020- now (he previously had none). he has 3 highlight circles with about 10-15 posts in each, mostly of random events, travels or his guy friends. i noticed in one of them, he added a photo of him and this girl who is kind of a mutual friend, however i’m not close to her.
the photo itself is innocent, just them smiling at a house party but it bothers me for a number of reasons:
– i find it weird that he chose to highlight that photo in particular and also under his close friends.
– i don’t have any photos of just me and another guy friend on my highlights so i expect the same from him
– none of our friends that i know have photos like this highlighted of just them with a friend of the opposite sex
– he hasn’t even posted a photo of just me and him on his ig yet
– my bf and the girl aren’t even that close and he’s actually talked shit about her multiple times and how he doesn’t approve of her behaviour towards HER bf
– i’ve been cheated on in the past due to my ex liking his female friend at the time, and my boyfriend promised at the start of our relo to “never make me feel like i’m in competition with another woman”
– my boyfriend deleted a pic of us on his feed from when we were friends which was part of a dump (10 pics) for unknown reasons??
– this mutual girl friend has had feelings for my bf in the past (around the time the photo was taken) and i know my bf has also found her attractive bc of the way he used to talk about her to me when we were best friends before dating
i don’t know if i’m overreacting/being insecure or if i have a right to feel slighted about this. i’m planning to talk to him about it in person in a few days.
tl;dr my bf recently added a photo from 2020 of him and a girl friend to his highlights on ig. we both haven’t posted a single photo of each other on social media yet after dating for 11 months. it bothers me for a lot of reasons (see above). idk if im overreacting or if i should feel hurt
4 comments
You have a month before you make it official on IG right? Wait for that. See what he does.🤷♀️
Okay there’s a lot to unpack here
* this concept of not posting each other on social media is just… weird for people your age in 2023 tbh
* “I don’t have any photos of me and abjure guy friend on my highlights so I expect the same from him” why? Just because you’re choosing to do something doesn’t mean he needs to act the same way as you? that’s really silly.
* you’re not being insecure… but this is a very bizarre way to handle the relationship. Why are you together after 11 months and not wanting to make it public? Are you Hollywood celebrities or just nobody’s?
You are overthinking this, a lot. Social media is not real life. Focus on the realities of your relationship, is it good, is it bad, do you make each other happy etc. Guys can be friends with girls, and if he posts pictures of him with guy friends, he’s allowed to post pictures with girl friends too.
Maybe the issue is deeper, and your feelings of hurt are coming out through this issue by proxy. From my perspective, he’s not doing anything wrong here. Is there something else ?
God you two are petty