I already made up my mind about saying no, but I want to know what everyone else thinks, and if I’m being to paranoid.
So I’ve been talking to this guy on a dating app, and we really seem to connect. He’s charming, and nice though a bit awkward at times which i find cute. We’re panning to go our first date soon, and I’m completely onboard. The only problem is that he wants to go to three different places. Meet up to have coffee at a cafe, do something fun like bowling, then go for dinner. I would also have to go on his car, seeing as i don’t have a car. As a fourth or third date I would totally go for it. But this is our first date, and i don’t even know this guy! The world is really dangerous for women, always has been, and the last thing i want is to get into a stranger’s car to go to three different places at night no less. Not to mention that I don’t even know if we’ll get along, and the last thing i want is being stuck with someone i might not like for potentially 3-4 hours!
He’s definitely going way to fast here, and I know I’ll need to slow him down a bit. I know he’s getting over excited, and I don’t blame him, in fact I feel a little sorry about taking the wind off his sails. Right now I’m thinking about a response that won’t hurt him, seeing as he probably doesn’t realize that all of this is way too much for a first date. I don’t need to go to a bunch of expensive, fun places, i just need to get to know him.
2 comments
Too much for a first date. Meet for coffee and that’s it. He’s being too ambitious and needs to learn patience is a virtue and you can’t rush people but he maybe doesn’t realize that if he’s inexperienced.
The only exception I might make to that would be if it was a group-based get-to-know you thing but those are usually organised by third parties.
Definitely get even the idea of agreeing to 3-4 hours with someone the first time meeting is so overwhelming. I’d probably message something along the lines of that all sounds really nice/fun, but what if we just start with a coffee?