I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year and can’t seem to fall in love with him.
He’s hands down the most caring, affectionate, kind, patient, and respectful boyfriend I’ve ever had. He always tends to my needs, cooking for me, giving me massages… always puts me first over everything, goes out of his way to make me feel loved…. Honestly, he’s just all around an amazing boyfriend.
However, I can’t seem to fall in love with him. I know in my head that he’s not only the best bf material but also that he’d make a great husband. I can be quite selfish and often difficult to deal with, but he puts up with my BS and still loves me with all his heart. With that said, here are the reasons why I think I haven’t been able to fall in love with this great guy….
1) I’m not physically attracted to him.
When I first met him, he wasn’t really my type. But as I’ve gotten to know him I discovered what a caring and genuine person he was, and that’s why I decided to date him. Plus, I’d dated guys before who weren’t necessarily physically “my type,” but ended up falling in love with them. I thought the same would happen this time, but it hasn’t…
2) We don’t share the same interests.
We have vastly different interests, and sometimes when I talk about the things that I find interesting, I feel like he’s either not paying attention or pretending to pay attention just to appease me. This frustrates me and I feel like I can’t be myself around him.
3) We have different values in life.
For me, family isn’t the most important thing in my life. I don’t want to have kids, and want to enjoy an exciting life with my partner filled with lots of trips and adventures. He’s the opposite. He’s always wanted kids, but after he met me and I made clear that I didn’t want kids, he’s decided that he’d be ok with not having kids because being with me was more important to him. I feel like this is a great sacrifice that no one should have to make, and feel like he’d eventually resent me for it.
He’s the most loving and caring boyfriend I’ve ever had, but I feel like we’re incompatible in many ways. Should I stop leading him on and put an end to this relationship?
**TLDR** : I have the most loving boyfriend who’s incompatible with me. What should I do?
9 comments
How old are you guys?
So break up with him and move on. Frankly? You will make him miserable. He won’t have a happy life with you.
He will certainly regret not having kids. I feel quite sure he thinks you will change your mind.
Be kind to him and break it off with him. If you truly respect this man? You’ll let him go.
He won’t make you happy either. You’ll both be miserable.
You don’t have any chemistry. Just move on. You will save yourself a lot of time. Trust me. I’ve tried it. Perfect girlfriend, she was smart, a doctor, rich, outgoing, beautiful, but we had absolutely no chemistry , no spark. It never grew. I actually resented her for it. It was awful. I broke up with her and have not regretted it at all. We just weren’t compatible.
This is pretty normal, some people just aren’t a good match even if they’re great on paper. Break up with him and move on
Break up. Two lovely people can be wrong for each other. Let him go, and you both can find the right person.
1. No attraction 2. Don’t share interests 3. Don’t share values. Three strikes, you’re not compatible.
How could he be perfect for you if you don’t love him?
Move on and stop stringing him along with this.
he is a good man but not the one. don’t keep leading him on. that isn’t fair to him, nor is it fair to yourself. he deserves someone who wants him and wants kids (it is a great sacrifice and you’re right, he will resent you for it; we only get one life and for someone who wants kids, having them is part of getting the most of theirs). you deserve someone you have amazing chemistry with who wants to go on adventures.
just be honest with him. he deserves that.