I have social anxiety, which makes flirting with and asking girls out quite difficult. I avoid asking girls out because I’m afraid of being humiliated and of girls gossiping about how I asked one of them on a date. On several occasions I’ve made friends with girls I was interested in and was too afraid to make a move. Those girls usually just end up dating a different guy who I guess is more confident than i am. Although I am lonely and would like to date, for the past few months I just haven’t been trying at all. Haven’t been trying to interact with any girls my age at all because I just assume they won’t like me and will date a different guy. Plus talking to other guys is so much easier. There’s a girl who I sometimes run into at my gym who seems nice, but I just have no motivation to try to even ask for her number. I’m also just afraid of saying the wrong thing and then girls think I’m stupid or a terrible person. I want to have a wife in the future, but I don’t even want to try. What do I do?
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tl;dr: don’t know how to not give up on myself
4 comments
You should get therapy for your social anxiety and self esteem issues. It may help you get into a relationship, but even if it does not, you will likely be happier for it.
Relationships don’t fix you. You fix you.
Just to reiterate what has already been said, but your insecurity really comes through from what you’ve written. You mentioned working out at a gym. Exercising can certainly help with feeling better about oneself and gaining confidence, but if you’re still struggling you really should consider finding a therapist. They will help you get to the root of your insecurities and help you deal with them, and in time hopefully help you feel comfortable in your own skin and confident interacting with potential romantic partners. Good luck.
What do you think you’re missing from a relationship that you can’t give yourself?