so I’ve noticed that i have really bad attachment issues to my boyfriend. I’ve never been one to have anxiety but last night (we are currently visiting his hometown bc his grandpa died) he went to go to this laser tag place with his brother and cousin in which he doesn’t see often bc he lives with me. he wanted me to come but i told him i wanted him to spend time with them alone. as soon as he left my stomach dropped and i felt so i’ll and immediately
began crying. i texted him how i was feeling and (bc he was driving) he wasn’t answering which made my anxiety even worse. I’ve found myself completely reliable on him not able to do anything for myself. i don’t like doing
anything without him. that be cleaning the room, using the bathroom, brushing my teeth, going to the store, etc. literally anything. and this sounds so selfish but i promise
it’s not me being that way but we are with his family rn and i don’t want him to leave my side ever : (i feel awful but as soon as he does i get physically i’ll like i need to vomit. last night when we got back to his grandmas house, i was so tired. he brought me to bed and tucked me in and said he was going to go back into the living room to hangout with his brother and i got so upset. started to cry and he stayed in here with me and we both fell asleep. i know that there could be plenty of reasons as to why i am this way, like my past relationships but is there anything i can do to not be so attached. anything helps i feel terrible : ( if you have any questions about past relationships or anything at all feel free to ask. thanks in advance.
tl;dr i have attachment issues to my bf so bad that when he leaves i get physically ill. advice?
edit: i think i am this way because all my past relationships have been horrible. he’s the only person i’ve been with to treat me this great. he’s incredible. and i think it might’ve been a help to some of the previous trauma i’ve experience and that’s why i latched on. i’m not a baby, but as said before i think the greatness of the relationship began healing me but it’s gone too far. i spoke with him last night and he said it doesn’t bother him and he knows it’s not me being selfish but it’s because of past issues. i told him i’m scared it might bother him if it persists but he promises it won’t. i asked if there was anything he could suggest me try to do or anything and he told me he doesn’t really have anything to say bc he doesn’t see it as a problem:(
2 comments
✨ therapy ✨
Kudos on recognizing it’s an issue though! That’s always the first step.
I’m (26M) sorry to hear. I too had a similar experience, my most recent gf was my first long term relationship (3 1/2+ years) and in the beginning I used to get very bad separation anxiety to the point where I’d too get physically ill. I can’t say that any one thing helped but at first I’d distract myself (go to the gym), schedule plans at the same time. Later I started writing out my anxiety, and employing spa days for myself when she was out. Eventually (1 year or so) it got easier. I also recognized that my anxiety gave my gf an uneasy feeling which definitely was not helping my relationship and since it was a relationship I wanted to keep I worked on it. Introspection helped me pinpoint where the feeling stemmed from.