(F:21, M:26) Recently i saw that my bf had a female as his best friend on Snapchat. I asked him who it was & he got super quiet and then said “ok tbh i matched with her on tinder years ago but we’re strictly just friends, she just sends me videos of her dogs and we catch up from time to time.” He said they did hookup in the past. I stalked her ig because i wanted to see who she was and she now lives across the country with her bf. I was pissed and he said i could look through his phone. Initially i said no but as time went by i decided i wanted to, to make sure. When he was asleep i went through it and found that he had slept with someone multiple times just before we became bf/gf but while we still agreed to be exclusive. He also had old sex tapes with his ex that he had been watching recently and nudes of girls in a hidden photo vault. When i confronted him all he could do was say how dare you go through my phone will I’m sleeping, you think you’re so slick. He told me that i have insecurity issues and that i completely invaded his privacy which is toxic. I know in principle, it’s not good to go through someone’s phone but I feel like he’s way more in the wrong. And honestly i don’t feel bad for going through it, I’m glad i found out what i did. Saves me time. Thoughts?
2 comments
Yeah the sextapes and photos would be the final nail in the coffin for me.
You done whats right. Yes it did invade his privacy… but as said… you saved your time with him. In my personal opinion… keeping ex sex tapes or any nudes undergoes unappropriate relationship behaviour. He should have had you to furfill him… not some s tape on his phone of some other woman. Plus him being defensive and deflecting on such situation wasnt leading to a calm and resolving argument. This type of person tends to be defensive and wont admit fault… and from my situations…I admit fault… even if its serious. Its best to be honest or nothing if you are willing to committ to a serious and long term relationship