I [33F] had a boyfriend [41M] for almost 4 years. I broke up with him the beginning of December.
I have an FWB [48M], at least supposedly, but I haven’t seen my FWB since December 9th. I feel like I’ve just been chasing him down for sex, and he always just says “soon”. I know he’s with other women, so I assume he’s too busy with them to see me. A couple weeks ago, I told him I was going to quit trying and give up. His response to that was to invite me over the next morning. I was so excited to finally be getting sex that I couldn’t even really sleep that night. I got up early in the morning, showered, shaved, put on my sexiest underclothes, and texted him. He never texted back. He said he messed up and turned off his alarm the night before and overslept. So the sex never happened. A few days later I texted him, “I don’t think I can have sex with only you. I need a second guy.” And I complained again how he’s never around. He texted back, “Friday my house 5 PM š” I said, “No, because I’m supposed to get my period Friday, and you hate period sex.” That was the last thing we said to each other. I did try texting him again about something else this morning, but he left me on read.
So today my ex was around. And I remember a few weeks ago my ex had suggested becoming friends with benefits. Well, I was really horny after going so long without sex, so I initiated sex with my ex today. Part of me feels guilty though, because I have a suspicion my ex wants me back. (But at the same time, I might want him back too.) I literally overheard him tell someone we’re still together, even though he acknowledges to me that we’re not.
I don’t think my ex would’ve slept with me if he knew I sort of have an FWB. But at the same time, my ex tried to tell me he hooked up with someone else the same night we broke up (although he later insisted he made that up just to hurt me, so who knows).
I’m not sure how to handle this situation. I feel like one of these days my FWB is going to want to come pick me up and have sex with me, but I’m afraid of my ex finding out about it. I feel like I have to end things with one of them, but I’m not sure which one.
How should I handle a situation like this?
TL;DR: I feel torn between my FWB and my ex. I didn’t really intend to hook up with my ex, but I haven’t seen my FWB since December 9th. What should I do?
4 comments
If you want to get back with your ex then maybe dont fuck your FWB. He doesnāt sound that interested anyway.
You broke up. Why? You talk about wanting each other… but there was a break up. Wasn’t there? While many people who break up end up resuming later, people who don’t deal with the problems which broke them up in the first place are good odds to repeat history.
> I know he’s with other women
Why on earth do you feel any need to be faithful to a guy in relationship-type where exclusivity is absolutely out? You need to get out and find a real boyfriend.
Starting things again with an ex seems like a bad idea. You broke up for reasons which were probably good reasons. Has anything actually changed? Probably not, which means that in 2 months itās going to be the same old shit again and you will be breaking up
You are too old playing games like that.