I thought I matched with a nice guy. Conversation was good, he was even looking for something serious.
We planned to meet up for coffee and I was on my way to the date. Just when I was arriving, I noticed he had unmatched me on Bumble. I feel horrible as I am now on my way home. I got ready and was finally willing to date again.
18 comments
This just goes to show that men do this too. I see a lot of men complain about women being the ones to do this. It’s not about the gender who does it, it’s about the person who does it
Sorry to hear this happened to you. I really don’t understand how anyone can do this. If you commit to a day, time and place, show up. If you change your mind, tell the person instead of letting them waste their time getting ready and showing up at the location. Ugh!
Please know that this isn’t a problem with you, it’s a big problem with this guy’s character. Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Apparently he still has a lot of maturing to do
That’s shitty of him. Pretty common with online dating, among both genders. You should know that not everyone treats others this way though. They’re the one who is fucked up.
hey- it’s nothing personal, that’s just something you get with online dating. since you used the term “finally ready to date again” – take it from someone who’s recently exited a LTR and started dating – you need to sort of prepare yourself incase things like this happen. It is nothing personal you just might meet a few dickheads before you find a really great person (emphasis on the “might”).
Almost certainly something on his side don’t let it get to you
I’m sorry this happened to you.
Nobody deserves this no matter the gender. Although this seems to be something that is happening mostly to guys, it also goes to show that there are guys out there who are just selfish pricks who have no regard for other people’s time and feelings.
Try not to dwell on it, just because he was a jerk, doesn’t mean there are no decent guys out there. At the end of the day, his loss and he has to look at himself in the mirror every day.
Your consciousness is clear and that’s the main thing and you deserve someone who will treat you with respect you deserve, because this guy, certainly wouldn’t and he showed his true face and inadvertently did you a favour by not turning up.
Kind of sounds like you may have catfish to him. I’m sure he showed up and was waiting before and seeing you and wasn’t feeling it.
just the antisocial, anxiety, narcissistic times we live in. Never take it personal- thats what demoralizes you
Is that the kind of guy you want to date? Seems like you dodged a bullet, imagine being in a relationship with someone that doesn’t know how to communicate that he changed his mind, is late or doesn’t want to do something and just “unmatches”/stonewalls everytime there is conflict.
Sorry this happened. Not nice of him
Two main reasons this happened, he’s married or he lost his bottle, thinking he’s not good enough for you. I’m thinking probably the first choice as if it was the second, he’d have given you an excuse afterwards, like work emergency or family emergency.
I’m so sorry it’s nothing personal I bet you are great and at least now you know he isn’t
That’s disgusting from him. There are good ppl out there. Something if I set up a date it’s also coz I want to check out a place and if they don’t rock up I still get to the check the place.
Wow that sucks been there
I guess he was not sure about the date and paniked. Happens. His loss.
Better than waiting there, see your date enter the place, make eye contact and he turns around, leaves and blocks you (and no, this of course did NOT happen to me, lol).
I am frustrated for you. I don’t meet the majority of my matches, but if I think the chemistry is right then I’ll stick out my neck and try and see what happens. Nothing is more irritating than being ghosted. I agree with the others that they are the defective ones who can’t be adult and speak their mind.
Not that this justifies it but did you confirm at the very least, the day of? Preferably before leaving for the date?
Ghosting unfortunately happens. It sucks. But I do notice a lot of posts here about it that can simply be avoided if they attempted to confirm the date beforehand
So if you did do so then obviously disregard. But if not, it can help save you a wasted trip and a headache by checking in with them to make sure the date is still good to go
This is the problem with online dating. You have zero idea who you’re talking to. Try work or friends of friends. At least you know it’s someone real with a reputation.
I usually try to get a number the morning of or the day before the first date, partly so I know that the date is real. The trick is to plan the date first, and then ask for the number (more out of necessity).