What made you realize that you are the shit?

14 comments

1. People keep trying to wipe me.

2. Aint no realize, just have always known.

3. Any time I drop something and then catch it in midair before it hits the ground.

4. Like Kid Rock said: “I know it stinks in here, cuz I’m the shit!”

5. When people started asking about shit cus i’m ahead in most things i pursue

6. Yeah I always knew it deep down

   But girls reaction to seeing my cock helps too

7. I woke up, saw myself in the mirror, and thought “you’re him”

8. Being all up in these bìtches mouths. Some with husbands 😂

9. When my team would light up as I entered the room and got really sad when I left after my promotion. Love ‘em all!

10. People came up to me and “you are shit”

    …wait

11. Fully recovering from a “serious” traumatic brain injury

12. That one time in college when I morphed into Ken Griffey Jr. in a combined fraternity-sorority softball game. My hitting sucks, but for whatever reason the gods decided to favor me that day. Hit a fast pitch clean, for a center field home run. The rest of the game everyone moved back whenever I was at the plate. Felt nice to be a boss for a few hours.

13. almost 30 and never had a girlfriend

14. Every time I look in the mirror at the gym and the women behind me are checking me out.