Started a new relationship, very early days. But really not feeling him in bed. I never had that before- we seem to be very opposite. I am more submissive and like an active, slightly dominant, fast paced partner. He turned out to be more submissive, and did not suggest any positions apart from me on top… what would you do? I find it really impossible to talk about it as it is early days and I just feel so awkward. Thank you for advice!
7 comments
I think talking about it is the best thing you can do. Doesn’t have to be to precise for the beginning but I think one can’t start to early talking about sex in a new relationship.
Try guiding him into the different types of foreplay and things you want? Like put your hands above your head and move his arms there, etc
It can be difficult and awkward to have these discussions early on. When I first start dating my hubby we were actually in a similar situation. Your sex life will evolve, just make sure you communicate!
While some people can adapt, it’ a bad strategy to expect someone to change who they are. If things don’t gel after a few weeks call it a loss and move on.
Is he submissive or inexperienced? I wouldn’t be surprised if he wants only cowgirl because he’s not confident he’ll be able to make it as enjoyable for you as, well, you can. If you’re uncomfortable discussing it, you can make simple commands during sex. “I want to see you on top of me,” is simple, not self-degrading or too clinical.
If he’s not responsive to that kind of encouragement in bed, then there’s no two ways about a conversation outside of bed.
it’s a very difficult problem when we don’t fit together during sex :((
I have a partner with whom awesome sex, he strongly dominates in bed. But when we had problems and we broke up, I found other guys who were completely his opposite. But then I still went to my old partner, because I needed his dominant and experienced sex. Try talking to your boyfriend, if that doesn’t work you’ll have to consider whether or not you should be together.
Can talk about what you like/want before/during/after but if he’s just submissive rather than inexperienced you’re simply not going to be compatible. In either case, going from inexperienced and unconfident to Manuel Ferrara is a lot of work that several partners of his down the line may be able to enjoy but probably not you.