**Hey guys, my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend twice and I just found out about it. The thing is that he had done this once before and I forgave him, telling him that if he were to ever do it again, I would not handle it. I begged him to rather break up with me first. She was the one to actually tell me, saying that she deeply regretted it and couldn’t live with it. I talked to my boyfriend, trying to understand how he could do that to me and then lie to my face for three months. He said it was a mistake and that there were no feelings involved, he was depressed and we were going through a rough patch and he was wrong to do it. Then he said he loves me and wants to build a life with me and doesn’t want to lose me. But how could I possibly ever trust him again since this wasn’t even the first time? Since he knew how much it would break me and did it anyway? We have been dating for 2 years and living together for one. We have two dogs and were in the process of decorating our new apartment. I don’t know how to move forward, my whole life has been thrown upside down along with losing two of my closest people, all in one night. Should I even be considering forgiving him and trying to get past this?**
11 comments
If you do forgive these actions, you will have to live with these:
1) you love to suffer.
2) if a cheater was able to cheat twice. They already lost their respect with you… so you are a living joke to these folks.
3) you don’t have the right kind of friends, and you are not good at choosing them
4) you will be insecured, you will live each day without trust, paranoid, unsure, and uneasy every… s I n g l e, d-a-y.
Omg this is unforgivable. You’d be a fool to let this go. Sounds like you’re more worried about being single and/or your reputation.
Forgiving would be a pass to do it again
Honestly, you don’t sound stable enough to be in a committed relationship. No person in their right mind stays with someone who keeps cheating on them. Time to move forward
Lose them both and focus on yourself babe.
This hurts I know but you can get through this. You gave hi a second chance and he threw it away. You need to get out. Find a place to go (Home, friend, ect.) or sleep on the couch until you can get a new place. Get your stuff out and go no contact.
Yo these people are awful. Never talk to either again.
Your bestie didn’t tell you out of guilt. She told you because she probably told him to leave you for her and he refused. The two of them most likely had an affair and fell out so she told you to sabotage him. You need to get away from both these two people.
Get rid of the boyfriend and best friend. They both suck and are selfish assholes.
Firstly, this girl is NOT your best friend – Dump her. She is going to do this again and might do it with whoever you date.
You have to learn to live by your words. Your words were, “If he were to ever do it again, I will not handle it. You would rather him break up with you first, blah blah, “. What does he do…
He does it again, with the same person and does not tell you.
Subconsciously, he could testing to you to see if you stand by sour word. Guess what is going to happen if you give in – He’s going to continually cheat on you because you did not keep to your word and he managed to manipulate by promising you a future.
You can forgive him for cheating on you again, but you can live by your principles and your word and more importantly respecting yourself by breaking up with him and your friend. They both deserve each other.
I honestly think she told you because of what you said in the first place too. I think she wants you to break up so that she could have him. Let her have him. They are both not worthy of your love.
Anything is possible.
If he really wants to continue and wants to put the effort in it, then you need to figure out if it is worth it.
If you choose that it is worthy, then you need to show and make him feel how much he hurt you, and keep a close eye on him to see how he reacts and moves forward in the relationship. If it looks like he just accepted that you forgave him and does the same then dump him. But if things get better and you still really love him there is chance to fix the relationship. There will be ways to go (especially for him, you need to show him that) but it is possible.
You shouldnt just get past it, but you can build around it forward.
Any way you choose we are with you