Hi! We’re both in our 30s. Been dating for a few months. Everything has been great and I’ve never really gelled with someone this easily. She recently blurted out, maybe by accident, that my dick was “top 3” then quickly said “top 2.” I think she was saying it as a compliment, but realized what she said and moved me up a rank??? Either way, I don’t really care. I thought it was rude and a shitty thing to say. Is it just my insecurity? Should I even mention it again? I would never say something like that to a partner. But maybe other people like to joke about that? I’ve had great sex with others but I don’t really keep a list.
TL:DR I have a solidly above average dick but not the best. Should I even mention it or is it my own insecurity?
25 comments
You two are waaaaay too old for this sort of bickering.
She thinks she’s being funny and a lot of people just can’t deliver compliments without laughing (because it’s just always so earnest and weird). If you don’t have a good sense of humor and the ability to laugh at yourself this probably isn’t the right girl for you.
“Blurted out”? What’s the context for this. “Hey honey can you pick up some milk and I’ve had at least 1 maybe 2 dicks better than yours?” A drinking game with dice that ask questions you’re supposed to answer honestly?
Some people can handle that kind of comment. Some can’t. I’d say a lot more aren’t okay with it than are.
How stupid that comment is depends on a lot of things. The kind of person you are. The kind of person she is. The context in which it was said. If either of you have been clear about not wanting to hear about past partners, etc
Sounds like it bothers you so you should bring it up unless you want one of those relationships where you don’t talk with each other about things that bother you..
Rude and shitty and sort of infantile/high schoolish mentality.
Ranking in general is a really shitty topic: no one wins and the ranker always comes out looking like a begging chooser.
Rank her boobs and see what she has to say.
I can see how she thought this was supposed to be funny. I can also see how it’s rude and hurtful.
I don’t see the point in ignoring something that you feel hurt by. You should be able to have these conversations with your significant other. Let her know that comment wasn’t very funny and your feelings were a little hurt by it. Hopefully she will apologize and it won’t happen again. Problem solved.
Shoulda responded that her pussy was easily top two as well! Give her a warm smile and a rub on the arm while you guys bond over it.
Seriously tho that’s such a fucked up thing to say. I feel like it’s a pretty general consensus that unless you’re placing them in the top spot, there’s no point in ranking people to their faces. She wants to have a list fine by me, but to say it to you is for no reason, she’s not trying to boost your ego or ask you to improve, she’s just being cruel.
What she said was dumb but it’s your insecurity that’s making it a problem.
Yikes. I’d say that it was super uncalled for and wonder if she was intentionally fucking with your head because what did she expect you to think or react with a statement like that. Honestly you’re going to know how to judge her character better than us but that’s a big red flag if not deal breaker in a relationship that’s only few months. She should know better by now. If you do break up hold your head high
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It’s not your insecurity.
Would you ever say “your tits are top 3” ?
No. Of course you wouldn’t.
Just have a conversation and tell her that if you’re going to be a thing together then you don’t want to be objectified, and you want to be treated like a person with feelings.
It was rude. You are entitled to feel off about it. It is immature. How would she like it if you said her tits were in your top 5?
Top 2 is worse than top 3 imo. At least if you’re top 3 it’s like, whatever, not the best dick. Top 2 is like, there’s one that will always be better.
In the short term, it was a faux pas. One instance, hurts but let it slide.
If it continues, screw that noise.
I remember when Mrs Mm73 and i first started being intimate. She was being silly, grabbed me down there and said, “Look what I found!” The tone of voice was not what she intended. Think super enthusiastic. It came across as “wow this was hard to find!” She was mortified, and I was done for the evening. We laugh about it now but it was verboten to talk about for a long time.
You’ll be fine. She realizes she messed it up.
“oh thank You, your pussy is great as well… Number 4 on grip”
See how she likes that.
“in terms of depth, your vagina is top 3”
Nothing you like to hear more from your girlfriend than how other dicks she has had are better than yours.
Top 3 out of 100. You’re golden. Top 3 out of 4. Yikes.
Are you sure she’s 30 and not 15? She never should have said that. She’s way too old for this nonsense. She’s way too immature to be in a relationship with anyone.
In todys dating seen, I could live with top 3…lol. But that was incredibly insensitive and down right dumb thing to say, especially early in a relationship. Insecurity has nothing to do with it. It would be a red flag for me and put me on high alert moving forward. Absolutely discuss it with her and let her know how you feel.
I think it’s generally rude to compare your partner with past partners in any way. To rate your dick, and only put it at 3rd is pretty damn rude. If you aren’t going to rate it as “the best I’ve ever had” then don’t rate it at all.
That’s a little weird of her to say but maybe think of it like this: she blurted it out without thinking so it’s honest. She didn’t say 3rd best or 2nd best. Top 3 or Top 2 means you could be and probably are the best! I don’t know about bringing it up. Maybe if it happens again. She might find it more attractive if it seems like you are just confident in yourself and don’t care.
I am not normally on this sort of tip but please imagine a guy ranking his gfs vagina and imagine the (righteous) hell that would ensue.
This sounds like it should be coming from r/teenagers