How can I find out her age?
In addition to my fulltime job I work part time in a book store and alot of the employees there are in their younger 20’s. There is this one girl who is SUPER cute and definitely my type from what I’ve gathered talking with her a bit. She looks like she’s at least older then 20. and I wouldn’t be interested if she was over 10 yrs younger then me
I really don’t want to seem like I’m some creeper and ruin my reputation at the bookstore because I love working there and it’s the best side hussle I cold get.
I work the register so unless she’s up on register too I don’t have that many opportunities for interaction, just at closing and even then since I only work 2 days its a crap shoot to see if I can get in time with her. The most I could think to ask is “Oh do you go to school” and try to suss out her age that way
I swear I am not some creep trying to slide in on younger girls, Its really hard for me to meet women (I’ll just say it, never had a GF) and since I work so much, the bookstore is really my biggest social interaction of the week.
I’m totally lost when talking to girls but I really think if I asked this girl out she might say yes, but I really don’t want to be that creep who dates a WAY younger girl like I’m some cool guy.
I just really need some help here
22 comments
It’s clear your intent is based solely on who she is as a person and not to be a creeper. So I wouldn’t stress about that. You’ve also never been in a relationship so I don’t think her age is too much of an issue. You two can learn together. Why not shoot your shot here!?
Dude, I think you already know the answer here. If the best you can tell she is “older than 20” she is still probably too young for you.
I’m 35 and I sure wouldn’t want to date someone who was 10 or even 8 years younger than me. I think I can still generally tell the difference between 20, 25 and 30.
If you don’t want to be a creeper then don’t ask out someone who is almost certainly too young for you at a place where you work.
If you really want to find out more about her ask her about books. You’ll get an idea of how she feels about you and who she is. Best case scenario is you get along and she asks you out. Worst case is you have a work appropriate conversation.
You’re 34 and you think it’s okay to hit on a colleague much younger than you? Not to mention you barely interact with her and know virtually nothing about her. bruh
You need to establish a social life outside of work. That is your path forward to dating. Don’t make excuses, find the time and do it.
I would say… don’t hit on her during work, that’s a general no no, but I would definitely find a way to do something together outside that she could say no to. I like using climbing gym dates, or something similar (hiking in particular place or skating etc) where there is an activity you can do together that’s not too personal. You can tell her you’ve been wanting to do x activity and was looking for someone to go with you and see if she ever wanted to try it, and leave it there. She can instantly say no right there if she isn’t into you and you can move on one way or another.
You can ask if she’s in university and what she is studying. That should sort that out pretty quickly.
if you have to ask her age she too young
Ah yes, we all know 20 year olds have the mind of 5 year olds. I mean good god, 20 years isnt enough time to mature at all.
I don’t mean to “go touch grass” you but, you gotta get your life outta work man. Go engage in stuff outside of it, be genuine and friendly with your coworkers but, don’t risk your professional reputation over one (young) woman when there are probably tons of decent women your age out there somewhere.
Also, in general people way younger than you are rarely worth it, just look at how little interaction you get with her as is.
The fact that you refer to her as a “girl” repeatedly and that it’s hard for you to meet “women” is a big no for me.
Maybe a little counter to the other comments, but my previous relationship started with me (M34) and her (F22). It was a little different than your situation because we met online, where we knew our ages up front. We talked about our age on the first date, and decided that we had enough in common and the age never really came up as an issue. There were odd things where we didn’t know each others favourite movies or grew up with different tv shows, but that was almost more fun to share with each other. The relationship lasted 7 years.
The one thing I find a bit concerning about your story is attempting to date someone from work. It can be pretty tricky, and unless there’s very clear interest from both sides it will definitely come across as creepy, no matter what your ages are. My advice, be friendly, get to know her, and don’t expect anything other than a cool friend from work.
It depends on her level of maturity.
And also if she finds you attractive.
Advice: Don’t ask her Guess her age! It’s way more fun.
So want a sorta of fun teasy vibe, which is mostly a self amusing intention and curiousity.
Statements over questions, every single time.
When you give a statement, like something you observe, make sure you give very illogical reasons for why.
The less sense it makes the more fun.
The topic of your statements is what you are curious about, her age, her interests, her character, her tastes, her decision making, theres litterally too much to start talking about once you start observing, calling it out, and making some kinda fun/assumption about it.
E.g “it could be that your just a little tired today, but you seem like you in some kinda meditative state with the level of chill that I’m seeing you in rn, kinda impressive for your age which is like what 10-12, which I guess would mean you must be raised my monks or something huh? Well looks like I got you all figured out. P.s if you planning on “meditating later” I think the west corner is found the best, also maybe great for naps ,wink wink* – don’t ask me how I know.”
Dude, I’m 34 too. She’s too young man. You should know that it will never work as a relationship. Just leave her be.
It doesn’t matter her age she’s a colleague have some decency and don’t mix your feelings with your job
The biggest consideration I can think of is what are you looking for? Women at that age will generally be nowhere near the same goals and perspectives as you might have in life. People will say girl age faster or some can be smart but all that is not really accurate IMO. Just think about yourself 10 years ago at 24. You should see a huge difference in many areas or your life and in yourself between then and now. Consider that those women are that far behind. If that’s ok to you, then go for it. Needless to say if you are just looking for sex you can just go for it and not worry about any of that, as long as they are legally old enough. Just don’t mislead them. Otherwise, try women closer to their late twenties at least.
Best of luck!
just do it bro. go after what you want
Early 20’s is too damn young. What the fuck do you even talk about, TikTok?
Ask her out. There is no law of nature which tells a 34y old cannot date a 20y old. Form your life through your experience and not others
As someone who looks almost 10 years younger than my real age, I’d say just ask. There’s no harm in asking. Although you cannot really control her reaction to it. She might think you’re a creep or she might be cool with it 🤷🏾♀️.
I would say just as her if she goes to school? Asking her about school will easily tell you how old she is . If she says she’s in college and graduates in the spring , she probably 21-22. I wouldn’t recommend seriously dating someone in their early 20s. But as long as she’s legal, go for it. Who cares.
Ask her out, and tell her you want to be upfront about your age in case it’s uncomfortable for her. You might get rejected.
I did this as 31M. Went out with a girl because we had mutual attraction. Turns out she is 21 and did not want to go out again after I gave my age. Sucks but I know I at least tried
You’re too old for her, and you shouldn’t date at work. You might not need this job, but she might need it to pay her bills. Don’t put her in that situation.