I Broke up with my Boyfriend and ever since I’ve been depressed
We met early last year and he’s always been a dream guy, He made me feel special and accepted, I’ve never experienced love especially from a guy but he made me feel like I was a Princess, He moved from his hometown to be near me and constantly paid Uber trips just to see me.
I’m usually very busy with college and he understood that he needed to give me space, We never fought or had many differences but I knew he had economic problems ever since he moved here, His mom is mentally ill and that affects him, I honestly tried to be there for him but I never felt like I supported him enough even when he said I did, He usually called me his princess and always took care of me, He has insecurities with my family and friends and always thought they never truly accepted him.
By December last year I broke down due to college and he was there for me, he bought me 3 gifts for Christmas, Even tho his birthday was on December 17 he still gave me a gift that day, On Christmas Eve he gave me another one and we had our 9 months on December 29, I got sick due to his dog causing an allergic reaction and I didn’t want to tell him so I skipped out on our 2 planned dates on the 28th and 29th, On the 27th he got evicted from his home and he broke down crying, He asked me for some space because for the first time in 9 months he got mad at me for feeling insecure about our relationship. I couldn’t him the space he needed so he got stressed and skipped on our new years eve party, He communicated with me through the day and even tho we celebrated separately I still wanted him.
ByJan 1st we started arguing over some disagreements he had over my family, I could notice that after 9 months and the constant economic problems he was having due to living here, he was finally breaking down I’ve never had these types of fights with anyone and even tho we didn’t insult each other we said hurtful things.
I gave him 2 options, Going on a break or breaking up, He didn’t agree with the break so I opted to break up, Ever since I’ve felt horrible and I’ve missed him, We never stoped talking for 1 week and we kept saying how much we loved each other, after that week he wanted to get back together but I couldn’t, I feel drained and stressed over our break up, Our fights and college coming up tomorrow, We’ve seen seen each other and I’m still sad, He wants to get back together again but I’m still unsure if we should, He says he loves me and he’s sorry for everything but I feel like I don’t deserve him.
When I’m with him in person I’m happy and for a couple of minutes I forget about our problems, I know he’s an amazing guy and I’ve said to him how special he is but I’m unsure if I’m simply depressed or if I still love him
He reassures me things will work and even tho I know they will I’m still insecure.
What can I do to overcome this sadness and guilt and do we have a future?
Tldr
I broke up with my boyfriend and I’m unsure if I should give him a chance, I feel love him but I feel I’m not enough for him even when says I am.
2 comments
Yeah Love doesn’t like Logistics. The Bill of goods that romance novels and Hollywood sells us is that love can conquer all. Reality is a little different Love is like a bucket and every week you are in love it adds a bit more to the bucket. Sadly Irritations and complications dump a bit of love out of the bucket. Your relationship was new and new Relationships are the greatest thing, so much emotion and the process of discovery is a fun part of a relationship. Unfortunately as great as it is, during the early stages of a relationship there isn’t much in the bucket. So even though it feels really strong and really great during this time irritations and complications take a bigger toll on the health of the relationship because the love in the bucket is really wonderful but not really heavy. So when faced with too many complications relationships without a ton of time invested in them fizzle out. Sorry that is happening to you. It is not fizzling out because you are not really great, it is fizzling out because Love doesn’t like logistics.
You have some massive insecurities you may should work on. You broke up for circumstances, and both of you soon after regretted it and wanted to go back together. If he’s not with you anymore he has no need or pressure to say he loves you, so he probably really does mean it.