I am a guy in my early 30s, and I have been a virgin until now. Until a month or two ago, I have never dated, having sworn that I will never date until I have accomplished some personal goals related to career and looks. I achieved them a while ago, and am now seeing a woman. I lied to her that I have had some relationships before but nothing long term, when in reality I have not had any. I don’t feel great about being dishonest, but it was either that or having her think there is something seriously wrong with me.
It seems like I might be losing my virginity to her soon, so I need to get practice performing so that my claims of experience would not be doubted. How do I do this without a partner? I do not want to see a sex worker for this (I am already dating this woman exclusively, and have ethical concerns about seeing prostitutes), and I don’t think it would be worth it to buy a sex doll for this (not to mention I would not want her discovering it at my house). Are there any safe and effective ways to improve my performance in bed by myself without another human being or a humanoid doll?
16 comments
I’ll come back when ppl comment on this one
Sex is far from the end all be all of a relationship if you start it on a lie it will probably never get better, tell her the truth and go from there.
You’re overthinking. You don’t need practice. Even if you do go have sex with something/someone it won’t be the same experience as it will be with her. Every partner is different. Just focus on figuring out what she likes and take it slow.
More often than not the first time with a new partner isn’t that great anyways, so it being your first time ever isn’t that big of a deal. It may take a few times to figure it out, so just relax and try to enjoy it
Please do yourself and your partner a favor and tell her the truth prior.
If she’s a good woman, it won’t matter. If you’re a good man, you’ll be honest.
If you do this and things progress, the best advice I can give you is to communicate. Go slow…nobody wants the jackhammer.
Best of luck!
don’t be shy. be yourself. tell the truth.
even though it’s the first time doesn’t mean it has to be ‘perfect’. it’s hard to get rid of your own expectations, but focus your energy more on feeling comfortable when you’re together. give yourself some time to get to know her body step by step. be present, enjoy the journey!
Just convince yourself that you gotta be naturally talented at seggs and be chill and bold enough to simply get at it. It will be fine.
A) You are overthinking this, relax.
B) The lie itself is a lot more problematic than any other of the facts themself. (Good luck with that)
C) I recommend coming clean and hoping for the best, but you might have talked yourself into a corner. And need to take the L
D) Make sure that if / when it happens, both of you leave satisfied. Keep trying your best with your thong and fingers if your dick is out for the count. Until the work is done.
E) A bit counter intuetily to the previous point sex doesn’t NEED to be about the penetration and climax. Go with the flow and dubbele down on the foreplay and listen to the other party. And let her take the lead if you can.
F) practice putting on condoms and using lube.
Just general works outs will get you physically in shape to help, as long as you have the endurance to keep going in a position that the girl likes that’s usually good enough and then talking to her about what she likes and experimenting, trying to figure out what positions she gets the most out of, the forplay she likes, her kinks those things you learn with time and as you guys grow together you’ll slowly figure it out as you go. You don’t need to be an expert right away as long as you are trying to please her and make sure you do what you can to get her to cum that’ll be enough for most women
Premium tip – focus on here pleasure initially, not your own, it’ll help distract you. Take it slowly. Go with the flow. And relax! If you cum quick, no big deal, has happened to us all. There’s always round 2 soon after 😉
Read ‘she comes first’ by Ian Kerner.
be a giver mindset, stamina could be a issue. stretch your legs before
I lost my virginity at 22 (I’m 24 now) and never had any experience prior. No dating, no foreplay, no books and informative videos. Sex was amazing, fun, and easy.
Look, sex is how we reproduce; it’s an incredibly simple and natural act, and the only time it’s not is when people complicate it. The most important thing is that you genuinely care about the person you’re with and their pleasure. Listen to them, communicate, and treat them with love and respect.
Trust me when I say everything will come naturally after that.
Get a torso sex toy, that might help lol
The lie is much more of a turn off than just admitting you haven’t had an previous relationships. I wouldn’t think something was seriously wrong with someone because they hadn’t had previous relationships or sex in their 30s if they explained that it was because they wanted to focus on their career goals and this is coming from a woman. If I were you I would explain why you lied and apologize. No heathy relationship starts with dishonesty.
If you wanna train one thing that will make her go wild: Eat yogurts without a spoon…then try to do the same while you are with her 🤷♂️
Get a Fleshlight. Practice thrusting and positions.
Also, come clean to her about being dishonest and you being a virgin. Be prepared for her to end things with you. Starting off a relationship with lies is no way to go. If she does end things with you then be honest about your virginity to future partners. Again, do not lie about this.