How do you feel ok after an argument with your partner?

10 comments

1. Make up sex

2. I feel fine. Him, probably not so much

3. You don’t. Not feeling OK after an argument is a perfectly valid response.

4. [removed]

5. It felt awkward and strange; sometimes it feels like I’m still walking on egg shells.

6. For me the physical feelings are close to anxiety. I handle it how I handle anxiety, I part briefly from the thing giving me the anxiety so I can get clarity before I return. When my fiancé and I have an argument he’s learned that I need a moment to myself, sometimes I take a quick drive and sometimes I just go upstairs and read. When I’m ready I come back to the table, emotions in check and clearly explain my side (apologize if needed) and then I listen. Having my emotions in check prior to returning to my partner is Essential for both the clear explanation part and the listening part. Then I feel ok once we resolve the issue together and compromise or agree to revisit or whatever.

7. It depends. We have been married 30 years. We have had yelling fights (few), and arguments.

   When it gets really heated, which doesn’t happen often, we walk away to separate rooms until we calm down and the heat of the moment passes, even if it takes hours. Then we come back and discuss it rationally, listening to each other’s side and eventually agreeing or agreeing to disagree. (Yes, we don’t have to agree on everything to love each other. )

   If it is an argument, same thing. We LISTEN.

   Good communication is key. Even if you can’t listen in the moment, come back to it with calmer heads and agree to disagree if you must. You won’t always have the same views on the small things, but you must agree on the big things or the relationship will not work.

   Good luck!

8. I believe (in healthy people) anger and arguments all come from a place of having a need unmet. I take some time away – usually no more than an hour or two – and then come back and either state my need that I need met, or I ask them which need they need met. If my partner has poor communication skills, I assume that that probably comes from a place of fearing rejection for their needs/emotions, so I try to spoon feed it to them as much as I can. Use context clues to ask “were you upset because ____?” “Did it make you feel ___ when I ____?” “I completely understand feeling ___ when I said ____.” Just try to be as much of a safe space as I can until they feel comfortable sharing with me. And from there, we can come to an understanding.

9. We are older, pretty mellow, and no kids. Also strive to put each other first, and consider one another’s feelings. So we don’t have much to argue about

   I learned a long time ago that if a good man Loves a Woman he will do his best to please her. So, if I need something from him, I just tell him what I want one time, in simple, calm language. He doesn’t have to say anything or agree with me. But he usually does what I ask happily.

   He tells me what he wants in so many words, but nicely, and only once. I am just as happy to please him as he is me.

   If we have issues that can’t be resolved so easily we will talk about them. Or just work around each other

10. Talk about it, some sort of understanding, apologize and move on.