I(f19) have a very high sex drive, for a very long time. I don’t think I have ever had an orgasm with any of my previous partners.
But when I get off by myself, that is the only time I can do it, and quickly at that. I sort of squeeze my legs together and apply pressure to my pubic bone on my side.(Yes it’s weird I know).
I don’t know what to do because I seriously just want to come from my partner doing something. I always get to the point of “I can almost feel it” then it goes away every time. Help??
7 comments
i masturbate like this too, except i do it as i lay on my back. it’s called syntribation. a way i got my boyfriend to make me cum was doing it just how you described but using his hand/fingers instead of mine. it’ll take some practice but guide him on how to touch you the way you like it.
This sounds like a psychological issue mostly: When you are alone, you have nothing to focus on but yourself and your pleasure. Once there is another person in the mix, there are many more stimuli in the mix as well (the way they sound, feel, smell, the way you feel about them etc). All this can stand in the way of reaching the right state of relaxation and focus to come.
You may be a little bit more on edge with a partner, for example because you wantto make sure they are having a good time or you just don’t know them too well. Another possibility is that it has become a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy: since you have never been able to come, you start wanting it “too much”, as it were, and you lose focus.
Whatever the reason, try not to get too much into your head about it: If you just focus on enjoying yourself, orgasms will follow at some point. Another tip is to show how you make yourself cum when you are alone to a partner you feel comfortable with. This will help them understand your body better and hopefully help them get you off.
Masturbating when you squeeze is not wierd 😂 alot of ladies do that !
You might want to test out other methods too so you dont unintentionally pavlov yourself.
Dont stress about it so much, be more present and enjoy the sex.
See if there is hands, toys, positions, anything else that you enjoy (alone and with someone).
Dont fret right away about not being able to cum, it can take time to get into the right rythm with your partner, and honestly as long as you are both enjoying the activity that is what counts.
If you want to go the route of exploring i would perhaps suggest a strong shower head (pressure) and try to relax your pelvic area and legs when you use it.
Could be that your not able to relax your body like you are with yourself
I have the same problem. I am 30 and never managed to orgasm with a man. Solo and alone? Every time at least 5 times haha. I don’t know what it is. I also hate the pressure, as they start to almost be on a mission and it just throws me off
Feeling comfortable and safe will allow you to let go and get out of your head in the moment. Focus on what you need to feel relaxed first then take it slow and let the sexual energy build. Communicate with your partner and tell them what feels good, faster, harder etc. lastly don’t put any pressure on yourself to make it happen, when things line up right it just will.
Honestly? It’s because many men your age are terrible in bed. If you can afford, it get an OMGYes subscription to help you explain to partners what you need to orgasm.