I have a lazy eye in my left eye. That means when I look at something my left eye always wonders to the side, the muscles aren’t strong enough to coordinate it with my right eye. I’ve had it my whole life and as i’m nearing the end of high school it’s been harder for me to make eye contact. I feel like people get grossed out when they see it. My family, friends, and teachers have pointed out that it’s rude to not look at someone while having a conversation. I don’t know what to do though, I try all the time to make eye contact but I always chicken out. So is it rude to not make eye contact, or are they making a big deal out of it? Should I try harder? What goes through your head when you see someone with a defect? Do you get grossed out or is it my imagination?
2 comments
not weird or gross at all to me. people have different reasons for not maintaining eye contact so i dont hold it against them. it feels ableist to force everyone to keep still and keep eye contact.
Honestly, yeah, people get a little weirded out by it when someone has their eyes pointing in different directions.
But **only** a little, and they can deal with it pretty well while talking with someone with this issue. Anything you do to avoid it is just gonna make it seem more awkward.
Example:
I met this girl at a poetry writing event who had her eyes pointing way off in different directions. To add to her problems, I think she had tourettes syndrome, so would randomly shout things. When she noticed my confusion, she said “Oh, I was saying something to someone across the room.”
I’m pretty sure this was a lie she used in that exact situation to try and ease my discomfort. But there was no need for that, she could have just said, “Oh, I shout random things and I have a lazy eye, just ignore it” and that would have been just fine. Honestly I was more worried about how I was coming across and about reading my poetry than anything she could have done, and that’s how most people feel in any given situation.
So, just look people in the eye at least a little so they know you are paying attention (as best as you are able anyway) and know that they are not going to have a major freak out about your wonky eye.