Hello redditors,
I need advice on my situation. Just today I (28M) was snooping through my gf’s (29F) phone and found out she started a LDR with a guy from UK about 3 months ago. When I confronted her, she was truly sorry about what she did and said that the LDR lasted only 1 month with him and broke it off around November cause she felt guilty. I was very heartbroken reading through the text’s as they would exchange words like “I Love You” to each other.
What would you do. Is this relationship worth giving another chance? I know there’s no physical intimacy involved, but emotional is just as bad if not worst. Everything has been going so well up until now. She wants us to work things out. She also mentioned she’s willing to do anything to prove to me that she is loyal such as deleting all her social media accounts.
3 comments
You should begin by giving each other access to each other medias and messages. There is no “snooping”. While yes this time this breach of privacy had post factum justification it remains a breach of trust in general. Unless you already had free access to ger messages that is.
As for relationship itself, deleting things won’t fix relationship. It’s not that she can’t change, but if what is stopping her from e-dating is just lack of opportunity it’s no better than cheating.
This is why you need to have talk about your issues as relationship, get to the bottom of why she has done that, what both of you can do to make your relationship better etc. Since it can be problematic if you struggle with it try couple counceling.
You can also just leave her, it’s up to you.
If your son, nephew, little brother or little cousin told you their SO texted another boy/man ‘I love you’, what would you tell them?
I would say this was far more than just emotional cheating. Emotional cheating is when you start getting romantic feelings towards somebody and instead of shutting them down in your head you start thinking, fantasizing and imagining being together.
Your GF literally confessed love to this guy and entered an actual relationship with some other dude while being with you. Yes, it was an LDR but usually people who enter those consider them actual relationships, which I personally disagree with but that’s irrelevant.
Regardless, this is much more of a problem IMO than you think it is. Whether you forgive her or not is up to you, you haven’t said how long you’ve been together, which matters here because if she did that within the first year or 2-3 years of the relationship it doesn’t bode very well for the future. If you’re together for like 10 years then that would be much more understandable imo, but still something you two will have to work through.