you cannot make this stuff up. It’s really weird. I (M19) was jerking off and used some nice lotion and it was just like a nice time. so i jokingly messaged my boyfriend (M19) about using this “revolutionary lotion” for his own jerk off time, and he got upset. the next day I saw him he got really mad and was saying that I shouldn’t be jerking of without him because i should only be experiencing this sexual pleasure from him. he’s done this before where he doesn’t want me to use sex toys, but I can’t even masturbate now? his biggest concern is that I’ll be “looking at other guys instead of him” or “thinking of a celebrity crush” how the hell do I reassure him that it’s not that deep??
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Wow. That’s such a selfish attitude. Just the thought of my wife getting off without me is such a turn on. I’d rather it be with me, but everyone needs alone time.
Thank you for bringing this up.
This is NOT a peculiar situation among partners: believe it or not, both men and women can get very angry, frustrated or sensitive about their partners being sexual without them. This is a **power** and **control** problem, as well as a **self esteem** issue AND NOT YOUR FAULT.
It can happen at any time and for any reason: you’ll be intimate with someone you like or love and suddenly you’ve offended them somehow: maybe you inserted your fingers in your vagina during intercourse… maybe you mentioned his size (in any possible way)… maybe you’re not saying enough or you’re saying too much… a girl here on the forums accidentally blurted “DADDY!” and that caused issues….
It’s not your fault. It’s mankind; we all have so many issues and traumas that’s its practically a minefield for intimacy. Just understand that:
1) You have a right to be sexual with yourself. You do not need permission for this.
2) His feelings aren’t your fault. We love people, so we can consider their feelings and try to resolve conflict.
3) The best way to move forward is to talk calmly about it. To reassure your partner and speak carefully. To absorb anger and frustration and present a collected self in the discussion.
4) Stand up for your needs!
Bless you; best wishes.
Sexting is still a thing and would let him know how hard you get thinking of him.
If I had a girlfriend and she did that I’d be turned on