*info*
Previously I’ve posted about my apartment living debacles, and now I’m struggling with how to deal with neighbors, while I live in a home. It seems like a different set of issues.
Previously I grew up with virtually no neighbors, this small town girl (me) moved to “the big city” and I unfortunately chose the worst apartment in the city, lived there for 1 and a half years, cops told me multiple times to move because I have “the look of a prime victim”.
People in that apartment torchered me because I “had money”. My car got keyed, false police reports were made about me claiming I was being abused, the whole works.
I finally broke lease with the apartment complex for 1 and half years and suddenly moved into a 3 bedroom house in the same city (yay upgrades!). I am 26, but I look a lot younger and I also live alone.
*Advice needed*
I have a neighbor, who apparently I’m just finding out likes to watch me from across the street. He’s a bald white man roughly age 50(?) and also lives alone. At first I thought he was being curious, but now I understand that he’s not. Yesterday he contacted my landlords.
Trash had been picked up that day, and by 6PM I didn’t bring in the bins (there is no HOA and nothing in the lease about it). My landlords texted me about the bins and if it was ok to bring them in. I said yes I’ll do that. I thought they were asking me to, but apparently not. Long story short, they told me the neighbor contacted them and they drove over to my house to bring the bins in for me. This felt strange.
Then later that night (early morning) at 2AM I went into the playroom and I looked outside and he was at the end of his driveway, staring at my house. There’s nothing else to look at, I’m at the top of a hill. This felt strange.
I don’t understand if I’m going to get myself in a situation where I’m another prime victim where someone chooses to harass me and these are the early signs or not. I just moved in 3 days ago. I installed my ring camera, and game camera (facing my cars)to see if this will escalate or not- but I’m definitely concerned since he has my landlords contact info and is clearly a busybody.
What do I do? Since I live alone and I’m a woman I definitely don’t feel comfortable going over to his house— and even if I did get the courage to do that I feel like he’d claiming I’m causing problems.
To add on top of all of this, I’m part of a state program that protects my address and name, thus I have a state give “trust name” or common terms known as “alias”.
*Full circle*
The naive small town girl in me is hoping that maybe he’s being protective, but I can’t help but wonder if there’s a larger issue starting to brew and I want to nip it in the butt.
12 comments
*edit to add*
-the landlords are the ones who drove over and took in the bins, not the man.
-also the landlords were living in this house for under a year when they told me they “just outgrew the house” and now I’m feeling suspicious if it’s because of the neighbor.
You don’t have many options. The camera was a great idea. If this man is going to become a problem then you need proof. Hopefully he’s just nosy because you are new to the neighborhood. All you can do is wait and see. If you see him when you are outside just give a friendly wave. Keep an eye out and you may need more cameras. Hopefully not but be careful.
Call the cops. Report it anonymously. Let them drive by a few times.
Buy a large dog bowl,fill with water. Mens size 13+ sneakers outside front door. Maybe a rugby jersey within site? I side the house? That should do it.
He’s not protective, he’s creepy. My suggestion is you get a very large, domineering looking roommate. You can even offer cheap rent for the advantage of having a bodyguard around.
50M is lonely and probably trying to figure out ways to hit on you. Yecch. Don’t let it get to that point.
Talk to your landlords. Tell them he is giving you major creeper vibes based on what he is doing. Ask them if any previous tenants have complained about him. Also tell them that if there are issues about trash cans or similar that you will handle them. Phrase it like you don’t want to put them out. Ask if you can install a security system because you’re not feeling safe.
Film him everytime you see him watching you/ doing wierd stuff
There’s a big difference between actual crime and some middle-aged male “Karen” on the block. Chances are this guy isn’t dangerous but rather has appointed himself as the neighborhood monitor of all things. He’s the guy you’re going to be grateful for if your house is ever robbed because he’s a busybody who watches everything. But it’s annoying. So just mind your business, take your bins in and out on the appointed days and ignore this man. Unless you’re going to be in the habit of throwing wild parties its likely the worst he’ll ever do is complain if you let the lawn get too high. There’s one of these on every street.
You’ve only been there a few days so give it a little time and you’ll know if he’s just curious or creepy. Cameras and security are the best idea, just keep your curtains closed at night. You can ask your landlords if they had any problems with him because he is making you uncomfortable and you got the house for privacy. Also ask them to tell you if he calls them about anything because its between you and them and not the neighbor’s business. Stop saying hi to him and ignore him. You don’t want him to think you are flirting or encouraging him. You are nervous because if your last experience so it might not be as bad as you think. I hope not so you can enjoy your house.
1. Get a firearm
2. Get proper training
“Hey (landlord) I noticed the older gentleman across the street staring at the house at inappropriate times of the night, including hours after midnight. He’s creeping me out and I don’t feel safe knowing he’s watching me at all hours. Since you have his contact information, can you ask him to not stare at the house like that?”
Maybe get a dog that’ll protect you or make you feel safer