I’ve been opening up and going on a ‘fuck it’ spree with my social life, asking questions or testing people around me. Even family.
I’m about ready to cover bridges in gasoline and light them on fire, then piss on the ashes and move on with my life. lol… people are huge presumptuous assholes and I don’t give a fuck anymore.
Why is it when you leave blanks with the people in your life, they decide to fill them in with the most negative heinous theories without just talking to me first? I’m not a closed book, but I think I can tell I’m starting to intimidate people, and putting off energy I don’t want anything to do with them.
I’m like the cat sitting at the dinner table meme, the two women yelling at him when he’s just sitting there flabbergasted at what they are accusing him of. My whole life I felt like I was minding my own business, letting people be, and taking the hint some of them don’t like me. I know I don’t have the ideal life, have my own problems, don’t live up to wtf ever expectations they have of me. For some reason because I’m calm, and I guess blase about it all, it really bothers some people.
I’ve listened to the complaints, tried to open up and show interest, but all I get is more people not liking me and ammo in their clip to use against me. I just want to be friends with you, what the fuck are you doing pissing in my face and trying to hurt me?
The criticism from people I sort of know that I asked for, comes from a place of unreality, all the assumptions people have made of me is crazy and explains a lot. Some of it is really in depth, I even ask for examples, and things I’ve said have been taken way out of place and misunderstood, most of things I’ve said or done has been taken the wrong way. I’m through with trying to explain myself because no one gives a shit to begin with…
I don’t deserve this shit, and I was willing to change, but fuck it… In the next 6 months I may join the Airforce and get on with my life setting up somewhere else, or just doing something different. Seriously wish I had the money to do and go wherever I want.
Edit: Most of all I’m tired of the smug looks on peoples faces who started things on purpose, as if they did it for some self rightous justified purpose. I seriously want to smack them in the face…
Edit Edit: And I’m not falling for the gaslighting, this outburst is what they want to see and to see me go crazy… I’m ghosting and leaving, I don’t care how they think of it anymore. I’m not going to suck it up and deal with all of this…