So I (21M) was recently on hinge and I came across a friends (22M) ex (21F). We all went to the same high school and currently go to the same university. The first two years in college (were seniors now) he was my roommate and they were dating that whole time. They have been together since high school and broke up about a year ago. I haven’t really talked to my friend since we moved out of the dorms and got our own places almost two years ago, but we’re still friendly if we see each other. I’ve always thought his ex was very cute and really nice. Would I be an asshole if I tried to hit her up?
8 comments
Yes. ..there are billions of women roaming the planet. Why would you go for your friends ex??
People say it’s a dick move but I’ve never found it to be. I wouldn’t care if a friend tried to date my ex.
Would you be open to contacting your friend and asking him if he would be ok with it? That would probably be the best thing to do but he might say no.
I’ll go against the grain, if he’s just a guy you know in passing that you don’t hang out with and isn’t part of your social group, go for it. You don’t owe him any loyalty. Obviously different if it’s a closer friend.
I believe the word is “acquaintance”. A lot of younger people consider everyone they know their friends but as you get older you will understand better your relationships with people.
Sounds like he is the type that when you are done school and doing your own thing you’ll never see him again. If that’s the case then why not shoot your shot with this girl?
If you’re not that close to your friend anyway, I think it’s fine
Some would say it’s a dick move, but why should you pause your love life if most wouldn’t do it for you.
I have allowed many chances to slip through my hands similar to this, and I regret them. I was at a function where a friend was into a girl, and I just said screw it and went for her. She actually liked me and wasn’t interested in him.
It’s not only your choice but hers too.
With “friends” like you, who needs enemies?
If your serious talk to the friend first and see how he feels. If doing that seems completely out of the question, then drop it the whole thing – you’re obviously not ready for the consequences.
Or whatever; ignore my advice, take the advice of everyone responding who’s also thinking with their penis and go live your life. There’s plenty of fellas like you in the world who will drive the knife in when the back is turned, what’s one more? Hodie Mihi, Cras Tibi.
You should talk to your friend about it. It’ll clear your conscience for whatever happens down the road. It is unlikely that your friend will say no but at least you offered him that respect. He deserves it as your friend.
While the thoughts nice, this type of thinking has always bit me in the ass. Go for it, you owe someone you haven’t had a relationship with in 2 years nothing. I always ask myself in these situations, am I 100% certain he would ask me before getting with my ex? If the answers not 100% yes, go for it.