I know this is a toxic trait of mine, but I’ve never stayed friends with an ex. I’m a lover boy, it’s annoying. I have to hate girls to get over them.
Long story short, I have a kid from my high school relationship. Ever since then, I chose to stay single and have the best of both worlds. Be a father, but also have my fun on the side.
Well, then my current gf.. well ex gf… came along.
When we met, she was in an physically abusive relationship. As a friend, I helped her leave him. But one day she said she was going to try to make it work with him, so she couldn’t talk to me anymore.. a month or so passes and then I get a call out of the blue from her telling me she finally left him, all she could think about was me, etc… but she had moved to Florida to get away from him.
From the beginning I said no, couldn’t do long distance. But she insisted. She would fly or drive 10hrs every weekend to come back and see me. Eventually I was flying and driving down to see her. Before I knew it, we were officially together and I was in love.
Fast forward a year, she moves back and we move in together. Right around the 6 month mark in our house everything changed. She stopped being affectionate, we stopped having sex, she stopped the nice compliments, just everything like that stopped.
So I kept bringing my concerns to her, and all she kept saying was that she was just stressed, then it became thy she just doesn’t know what she wants but she knows she loves me. Then on Christmas she told me she didn’t love me anymore.
So ever since then it’s been a nightmare for me.
We have 2 months left in the lease, and she just told me tonight she’s already signed for an apartment a hour away. I have no where to go because I’ve invested everything into this relationship. Until Christmas, she kept telling me there was something to save and wanted me to fight for her.
So now, I have to move back into my moms house with my diabetic 6 year old because she waited until the last 2 months to tell me this isn’t what she wants
So we’ve been living like roommates, going through the motions. She keeps doing things like talking about us and our family in present tense, but constantly reminds me we are broken up, there’s nothing to save, and she’s already signed somewhere else.
I don’t want to hate her because I love her and I still believe she is different we’re just not meant for each other I guess… but it’s getting harder and harder for me to live. I wish I could just pack up my things and live out of my car for the time being but again my sim is a diabetic and I can not and will not put him in that position. It hurts extra bad because my sons mom is a piece of shit, so he has mommy issues . It took him a long time to trust my girlfriend and once he did he has been inseparable from her… it’s been beautiful to witness but now that’s all gone and I feel like a failure.
I’m diagnosed with manic depression, I work really hard to control my mania but nights like tonight are unbearable…. Obviously I just want to keep fighting for her, but I know I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want me and I don’t want that for her. I’m trying really hard to be mature and nice but it’s getting so hard. Obviously I’m leaving a lot of little details out, like the dynamics between her and my sons mom. I didn’t include that because it was something we talked about in depth before we even got together. Part of the reason I haven’t dated is because I didn’t want to subject a girl to baby momma drama, so before we even got together it was a big deal for me to make clear exactly what it would take to make us work etc and she always swore it wouldn’t be a factor.
I’m not trying to get pitty support or anything I just don’t know what to do. I’m gunna keep doing the obvious, going through the motions for the next month or so… but it’s getting really hard not to hate her