Long story short I (21F) was with my ex for almost 4 years. More recently I’ve been hooking up with a friend /(20M) But for some reason when it’s time for us to go to bed, I can’t fall asleep? I feel completely comfortable with him but idk why I just can’t sleep. If I do fall asleep it’s only for about half an hour. With my ex I didn’t have this problem. I’m just confused because I was sleeping with a different friend before this one and I had the same problem for a bit but I eventually was able to fall asleep. Is this common or has this happened to anyone else? How can I fix this? I’m wondering if I should bring this up further with my friend.
TLDR; I can’t fall asleep in the same bed with guys. I wanna know what I can do to fix this. I don’t know if it’s me or not
3 comments
It just takes time to get used to sharing a bed with a new sleeping partner. There isn’t anything specific wrong, it’s just how it is. If this is just a FWB situation between you and 20M, it’s probably better to just not spend the night there.
This is a hard issue to figure out, but here are some thoughts that might or might not help out. One is the obvious psychology angle – are you excited to be around him? Do you have a normal sleep routine that you aren’t doing when with him? But another thought is I’m guessing you have only tried to sleep with him in one location. If it was his place, then there are some factors about the location that may be the issue. Sleep can be very affected by temperature, and some people are very sensitive to it. I have sleep issues, and I have found even small temperature changes can really disrupt my sleep. Although if you haven’t tried to sleep with him too much yet, then you may just need to get used to it. Sleep onset can be hard for a lot of people, so it’s encouraged to have a sleep routine that sets your brain up for now it is sleep time. Being with someone new will always be a change, and you need to get your brain into the association of sleeping beside him being appropriate for sleep.
This is probably a temporary thing. When we sleep with someone new even if we’re comfortable sometimes we need time to really adjust. It’s weird and might take up to a month but I’m sure your body will eventually get used to it. You probably didn’t have this problem with your ex because you were used to it. Do you have any kind of trust issues or like are you stressed I assume that could probably make it difficult if you do