Was dating this girl for about three months, about 2 weeks into the relationship she opened up a snap from a guy who she was regularly talking to and I saw nudes saved from before we started dating and also she had another guy send a snap asking to “send a photo” within 5mins of each other. I immediately got up to leave and attempted to end things with her but she stopped me, me told me its been a while since she was in a relationship (multiple years) that nothing happened with them while we were together and she would stop talking to guys all together.
Fast forward another 2 weeks and I found out she gave her snap to a guy she knows irl and that she was talking to another one on the app, I generally wouldn’t have in issue with this but seeing as she told me she wasn’t gonna talk to guys to in her own words “earn my trust back” I again attempted to end things with her, this time she told me she would delete snap all together and that it wouldn’t happen again.
Things went smoothly over the next month or so until one day we got in an augment, normal couple stuff nothing to big of a deal and around 1am she asked to call me to talk. We did for a bit before she told me her friend who she was chilling with early forgot her hoodie at her bfs and she asked her to walk with her to pick it up, normally I wouldn’t care but seeing as we just got in a fight I told her id prefer if she just talked with me on the phone and said her friend could easily grab it in the morning? I hung up on her after arguing more and told her to call me back to work things out. She told me she left to go with her friend and when she saw I wanted her to call me back she immediately did, we called and fought again and she hung up on me.
We managed to patch that night up but last week when I went through her phone I found out she had downloaded snapchat again and saw a text with her friend hinting at the fact she lied to me. I immediately broke up with her and as I was leaving she download snap to show me she wasn’t talking to guys just looking at friends story’s. I didn’t care at this point and broke up with her, over the next few days she messaged me repeatedly telling me she misses me, still loves me, doesn’t want to break up, fix things, ect. I eventually I ended up saying lets meet up and talk it out.
So we meet up and I tell her she need to start being honest with me, she admits she was talking to guys on snap but insists it nothing sexual happened, she also admitted to lying to me about what happened with her friend, she originally told me she was with her friend earlier in that day but now admits she was lying to me and actually was with her friends bf too and that that night when we called she was the one who asked her friend to hang out and that she never left her friend, but instead argued with me on the phone while her friend was quiet and then meet up with her and her friends bf and went driving around town for a few hours. She was also openly talking to guys on snapchat at this point also after telling me she missed me, ect.
I was pretty mad but on the other hand actually appreciated the honesty from her for once, she told me she was sorry for lying, manipulating me, and gaslighting me and was gonna go to therapy, I told her if she wanted to fix things we can and I appreciated her telling me she has a problem and is trying to get help for it. Thing is after she told me all this stuff about wanting to get back together she told me she wanted to “take a break to focus on her self” (go to therapy for her lying, focus on school, get a new job so she can pull her own weight in the relationship). I told her she is the one who hurt and betrayed my trust and she is not the one who decides how we are gonna fix things I am not gonna do “a break”. We all know what that means.
I don’t trust her at all but deeply care about this person, she was there for me when no one else was and I honestly owe her my life, I was in a dark place before I met her, and other than her lying our relationship is great, she’s funny, smart, down to earth, empathetic, and supportive. I just know in my gut she has probably fucked around behind my back and is lying about it, but without solid prof I’m second guessing myself, currently I just feel so fucked around and emotionally drained and disrespected at her attempt to fix things by asking me to get back with her only to tell me she wants to focus on her self for a bit first. I have just ignored her attempts to contact me at this point and don’t feel like giving her a second chance after she takes a break to “focus on her self”. Any feedback or advice is appreciated.
TLRD: gf is a pathological liar, wants to get therapy and then try again, I’m not down. Am I in the right?
6 comments
Why even bother wondering about it. Take the trash out and leave it on the curb. Move on with your life.
Yeah she is a liar and honestly a cheater. You just didn’t gave her an opportunity to cheat. Don’t doubt yourself. You did the right thing
You’ve wasted enough time with someone who doesn’t respect you enough to remain faithful. You can do better.
You’ve been with her for 3 months and have years worth of lies to sort thru. Do you really want to deal with this the rest of your life? She’s a mess and you can’t trust her.
Ok so. Being in a relationship is suppose to be joyous. Make h happier than not being in one. This is not that. This sounds like a nightmare.
She was there for u cheating on ur bro. Let that sink in for a min. Ur relationship wasn’t great. Not at all. Ur relationship was a castle built on top of sand.
It seems like you are really snoopy and jealous and aggressive and are creating situations where it is hard for her to tell you the truth. And she’s an asshole for lying. You are both immature.