F26 M27 During an argument about him following an inappropriate page for my family member who was a previous of content creator, I threw a tiny plastic bottle in his direction and he directly retaliated by putting his hands around my neck and squeezing. Obviously I should not have thrown a plastic bottle but he says I deserve to get a taste of my own medicine. He keeps telling me he didn’t squeeze but my neck still hurts, I don’t know what to do because he just tells me I’m wrong, I started it, I didn’t trust him and I deserve it. We’ve been together around 7 years and haven’t had anything else other than him blaming me for everything and calling me crazy, psycho and like my mother. What do I even do anymore
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Girl, end this relationship. What else is the goal of putting your hands around someone’s neck? What does choking lead to?
Please leave for your own safety. If you are a lotto girl, take these stats and ask yourself if you’d play the lotto on the chances. If so, you need to gtfo of dodge
https://naplesshelter.org/strangulation/
> We’ve been together around 7 years and haven’t had anything else other than him blaming me for everything and calling me crazy, psycho and like my mother
That’s emotional abuse, just on that alone your relationship is super unhealthy. Add to that he put his hands around your neck. Sure you shouldn’t have thrown the bottle but that doesn’t give him the right to put his hands on you. You are not safe in this relationship.
Well, he is 7 to 8 more times likely to kill you now.
Please see this as the escalation it is.
Run
BREAK UP WITH HIM.
You leave his ass and seek therapy. You don’t stay unless you want to eventually potentially end up dead when it escalates. They don’t stop.
Please break up. He always gives you the fault for everything. Calling you names. And now when you chokes you, it is your fault?! Because you threw a tiny plastic bottle his way. He has trained you to believe him when he blames you for everything. That’s why you here. You could have thrown a cottonball and he would have still said the same! He is an abuser, he is dangerous. He hurts you and blames you, come on. Don’t wait for being killed. Or being hit. He has now showed you that he will also hurt you. It isn’t just verbally anymore!
You are so young. You have your whole life in front of you. Don’t waste it with someone who has no respect for you, who doesn’t care for you and clearly doesn’t love you. You deserve so much better. Talk with friends, family or work collegues if you need help getting out. If you have no one, contact the women shelter. They are nice people who knows what to do. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
And don’t break up with him when you are alone. He already tried to choke you to teach you a leason. Who knows what he does then. Leave when he is at work. Have always someone around. Call the police to get your stuff. Be save.
I wish you the best. And always remember: it is not your fault! ❤️
>We’ve been together around 7 years and haven’t had anything else other than him blaming me for everything and calling me crazy, psycho and like my mother. What do I even do anymore
What you’re describing is escalating from psychological abuse to physical assault. It does not get better from this point.
You have been in an abusive relationship all along. The escalation is causing you cognitive dissonance because it’s much harder to deny. You are going to have to work very hard to stay in your right mind in the face of his denials.
Fact: he put his hands around your neck and squeezed hard enough that your neck still hurts. Any sane person would call that choking. It is also assault, and a criminal act.
Fact: strangulation is not justified by any provocation whatsoever. He was not fighting for his life or defending himself. He was teaching you a lesson, by his own admission.
Fact: once someone chokes their partner, the chance that they will further assault and even murder their partner rise dramatically. You are in serious danger.
Hopefully someone has linked it already, but PLEASE, find and read the book “Why Does He Do That” by Lundy Bancroft. Please reach out to a local women’s shelter for help and advice. You are in danger and not reacting with appropriate urgency.
Throw the whole man away this shits unacceptable.
I dont give a fuck if you threw a plastic bottle at him.
He was looking at your fams naughty pics bruh, that alone that would be a relationship ender for me.
Sorry but the truth is your relationship died the second he did that shit. You tryna resusitate something thats already dead
LEAVE RIGHT NOW. Go somewhere safe, a friend or family member who can shelter you. If you don’t have any friends or family nearby to help you, go to the police station and file a report right away. Then ask them for help finding you safe shelter. Never, ever be alone with him again.
**RUN**.
Once a guy puts his hands on your throat you are 700% more likely to be killed in a domestic violence situation. I don’t mean just then in that moment and I don’t mean just dying by strangulation, either. It’s a combination of things.
1. It’s very easy to permanently damage or kill someone by choking them whether you intend to do so or not.
2. Once he’s gotten to choking you that means he’s crossed the barrier in his mind between corrective/coercive violence and is now comfortable using potentially deadly violence. This is not to say that a guy hitting you to get what he wants isn’t bad, it’s incredibly bad. The point is a guy grabbing you by the throat and squeezing is even worse. About 700% worse. Once you get to choking it’s no longer about him using violence to get what he wants, it’s about him using violence to make you fear for your life and/or actually kill you.
3. If he crosses this big of a line and you stay then this is your new normal, and if this guy is comfortable with “I choke her when she upsets me” being the new normal that means eventually he’s going to do it too hard and kill you by accident if he doesn’t kill you on purpose first.
I don’t care what you threw at him. “A taste of your own medicine” would be throwing the bottle back at you. Instead he brought a gun to a knife fight. Hell, he brought a gun to a pillow fight. And it was loaded, and he shoved it in your face.
Get out of this relationship or get ready to be a statistic. Those are your options.
He was more in the wrong. Strangulation is extremely dangerous. He may as well have put a loaded gun to her head.
If your neck still hurts, go to urgent care or the ER ASAP. Strangulation has lasting effects that can be extremely dangerous.
Throwing a bottle isn’t great, but he put his hands on you is a full escalation that could kill you.
Run.
Please seek medical evaluation to make sure your neck is okay
Whoaaaaaaa. He may not think he squeezed but your neck says otherwise. The mere fact that this was his reaction and his thought process. Ma’am, please let this be the end. He’s crossed a threshold that with immense effort on his part with therapy and proper communication and treating you with autonomy will likely end badly. We’ll bring the movies and icecream if you need company as you grieve the relationship. I’d rather a moment of pain rather than you living im a lifetime of fear while losing yourself
So he is saying you had an anaphylactic reaction to his hands around your neck.
However it’s not a laughing matter. He will kill you next time and lie about it with a straight face. Get away from the psychopath lady.
Go to https://www.thehotline.org/ right now and call or chat with someone. You are in great danger. As others have said, once a man chokes you – and please do not minimize what happened here – the odds of him killing you rise dramatically.
Ww want you to live. You are in danger. Please reach out for help. It’s there.
u/Ebbie45
That urge to strangle? It’s an urge to kill.
That’s because “choking” is when something blocks your airway from inside. What he did was “strangling”. And yes, it’s EXTREMELY COMMON for strangling to be followed by attempted murder. Get the fuck out immediately.
He’s gaslighting you. The man tried to strangle you. Get away from him.
Leave him.
Choking now increases the chances of homicide later. By such an insane amount that the percentage sounds fake.
You don’t always know right away if a strangulation incident has damaged you internally. There is a lot going on in your neck that could have been affected. Please seek medical attention as soon as you can.
Op, your partner is testing how far he can go and what he can get away with. The next time he does this it will be a little harder, but not as bad. You will get used to it until he finally kills you. This isn’t me talking, this is stats of the thousands of women who stayed that are now dead.
Leave. Immediately
LEAVE HIS BUTT IMMEDIATELY.
ABuse starts small.. As women, we believe , it is a one time thing and won’t happen again. We will change him. BULLSHIT. IT DOES HAPPEN AGAIN. It will come harder and more frequent. Until it becomes YOUR way of life. Please, save yourself before things escalate to the point of no return, for you both.
Maya Angelou— when someone shows you who they are believe them the first time.
Just leave this doesn’t get better. he’s now put his hands on your neck and next time he’ll keep squeezing please just leave do not risk your life for this man.
You are both toxic
Leave. Thats what you do.
So he’s been emotionally abusing you for years and now he’s escalated to physical abuse.
That’s what’s happened here.
You need to leave immediately.
You break up with him, that’s what you do.
“So then what we’re they doing there? Making a vintage necklace? I don’t think so.” The situation has escalated. Now run, now that he thinks what he did is okay—you should dip before he goes a step further each time.
Run things will only get worse
End this now. He is abusive and he gaslights you.
So for many years or your entire relationship he has been emotionally abusing you and gaslighting you to make you feel crazy. **After years of emotional abuse he escalated to grabbing you by the neck. The next escalation will be even more violent** He is even trying to gaslight you about this latest abuse, blaming you for it, and diminishing it.
Please for your sake read this free book. Did you know that the rate of domestic violent murders goes way up after choking incidents? Did you know most started out with similar verbal abuse you have been subjected to but escalated over periods of time? Here is a link to the book that is excellent and it would serve you well to read it.
https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf
Honey, once they escalate to choking, they don’t stop hurting you. He could have killed you. He thought about it at least once when he was choking you.
This is such an unsafe environment for you. [https://www.loveisrespect.org/](https://www.loveisrespect.org/) can give you lots of great advice and help you make a safety plan.