I’ve had a few partners, and they’ve never gone down on me for more than 30 seconds. They said I taste really good and that’s it, they move on.
I’m going to ask my bf to do it longer, but it feels weird that I have to ask.
I’m curious, how long do you usually give/receive oral? And women, do you usually climax?
Once in a while I MIGHT orgasm PIV, but is it selfish my partner doesn’t try to give me an orgasm any other way?
He’s never touched me more than a minute or two, either.
40 comments
Your partner is ridiculously selfish. You don’t need to put up with that bullshit.
If I go down on her, she’s having at least one orgasm. I’m happy to stay until she’s done.
If you care about your partner, why the FUCK would you NOT want them to feel good, to be happy, to get off?
The only legit answer is “as long as it takes”.
Or until you’re waved off.
Until they stop me. Love it
A lot of people are saying, “as long as it takes,” or some variation and I do agree with that, but I’d say a reasonable time is a half hour. Longer than that and my neck hurts for days.
Quite a lot, I like to make women squirm.
It depends on the person. There can be a lot of factors as to why people do it longer or lesser. Love doing it or hate doing it/thought of it.
Hygienic purposes, personal preference, bad experience, good experience, personal pleasure whether it’s due to seeing your partner get pleasure from it or the person just loves doing it, or thinking of it as a task
And it is okay to ask, but do not demand or enforce if your partner is unwilling to meet your requests. Also, try to return the favor most of the time. That usually helps if you want to ask or expect for more next time.
Personally, i like doing it because I love seeing what it does to my partner. And she usually gets orgasms from it.
And I don’t think it is selfish of your partner to not give you orgasms thru other method, as long as he is making you orgasm and he does as well. It really is just personal preference most of the time.
My suggestion is to talk to your partner, tell him that you think you haven’t really had an “orgasm” before, even when it seems like you do thru PIV. And then suggest things like oral, using fingers or a combination of both to see if you can finally experience what it is that you are longing for.
Keep in mind that it takes time and skill to get this right (from whoever is giving) and also do not forget to communicate when your partner is doing something right or wrong. Because as a man, I really don’t know what is going on down there other than it gets wetter. There are times that I “think” I’m doing the right thing because of body language or moans but all I’m really doing is either rubbing it too hard or on the wrong place/spot or going too fast, too slow, not enough pressure, too much pressure, etc. so communicate in the process. This will help him help YOU climax.
It’s one of the only ways I can really have an orgasm because I don’t like the feeling of my clit getting pummelled , I like the softness of my partner’s tongue, and light touching. He will do it for as long as it takes, which is usually anywhere from 10-20 minutes 🙂
LOL Yeah no woman is able to cum in 30 seconds unless miraculously she’s a God and able to do so. Usually takes anywhere from 15-20 min on average I would say given appropriate warm up and foreplay. But sometimes it can take 30-45 minutes too.
I go by the old dominoes pizza rule of “30 minutes or less”. By the 30 minute mark my tongue is tired along with my neck being sore, and I’ll take a break to change positions before going back in. The or less part is they say no more because they have orgasm and the sensation is too much to where it is painful until they have had a break to cool down.
My husband eats me for as long as it takes to get me off as he knows it’s unlikely I’ll come from piv
I eat it until she can’t take anymore and she’s pushing me away. That usually takes at least 5 minutes, sometimes as long as 15 or 20.
What kind of verbal feedback are you giving them while they’re performing? Are they doing it well?
Even soft discreet moans, mmms, and encouragement if they’re doing it well could get them to go longer. Flattery goes a long away, exaggeration even further.
Until my wife pushes me off. I love it!
Until my wife has an orgasm .
10-30 minutes. Occasionally longer with break’s for my jaw, titty grabbing piv or something
Until you make her go oooooooohhhhh. And she tells you to stop
5 to 20 min. Approaching 30 and I start wanting to die lol
As long as she wants!!!!! As long as she’s giving some kind of feedback she’s enjoying it then I love it and will go as long as needed! Tongues can get tired, but you can always rest the tongue a bit and go to a more lips oriented “kissing” mode for a bit. Maybe switch to hands/fingers a bit if that’s also enjoyed. In general switching things up works well for both partners unless she’s getting close and needs consistency to bring things over the edge so to speak. Most women seem to say, “If I’m getting close DO NOT STOP AND DO NOT CHANGE WHAT YOU ARE DOING.”
There’s no right or wrong here. “As long as both people want to keep doing it” I think is the best general answer. But some women can orgasm pretty quick from it and some of those women will want you to leave it the hell alone afterwards due to post orgasm sensitivity. And other women will be happy to have you go down on them for hours to have an orgasm. or just float from orgasm to orgasm. Huge variety there.
Some guys (like myself) absolutely love going down on an enthusiastic lover, but others are not turned on by putting their mouth on a vulva and others find it actually unpleasant.
Without asking him, it’s pretty hard to say how he feels about it. He may like it, but isn’t sure how much you like it? Maybe he doesn’t care either way, doesn’t mind, would be happy to do it more, but without knowing for sure he just does a quick thing as part of a foreplay routine.
Ask him to do it longer. Say what you like about what he does do! Give constructive criticism by asking for what you want in a sexy turned on voice. I’m happy to take most advice/requests if she says it sexy! If he doesn’t do it long enough after you ask him to, consider asking him what he does and doesn’t like about going down on you. Maybe he doesn’t really like it and that’s ok, people are allowed to like or dislike things. Maybe there’s something you can do to make him like it more and maybe not. But if he’s not into it and that’s not going to change, you just have to factor that into your assessment of how compatible you two are. If he’s just selfish and doesn’t care about your pleasure, dump him. There’s no shortage of guys who don’t care about a woman’s pleasure, but there’s no shortage of guys who do care and are not getting the dates/sex/relationships they hope to. So don’t keep rewarding the assholes with sex I’d say.
But probably some basic requests and communication will do the trick here!
Generally, my goal is to give an orgasm before we even start PIV.
It’s for our benefit too. It’s a safety net. If we cum too soon, it’s much less of a problem if there was already an O beforehand.
Depends on the woman and what she wants.
I would say at least until she cums. But sometimes it’s until she cums so many times you both need a break.
In my experience the time from start to her first orgasm depends a lot on other foreplay and her level of excitement. Could be a few minutes, could be 10 or 15 minutes. But 30 seconds and then stopping? That’s bullshit and it certainly isn’t enough. That’s like asking if you want to be intimate, then shaking hands and leaving.
Typically until she orgasms or she says she wants me inside her. I find it hot that I can get her off with just my mouth and that she wants my penis. In practice, this is usually about 10-15mins purely on oral (estimate, I haven’t bothered to actually time it). Of course, there are also times when we’d skip oral.
I love doing it, so, until I’m exhausted
I’m not sure how long it takes my partner to cum, but I get the feeling oral until her orgasm usually lasts 10-15 minutes.
Might be wrong though, never timed it, but that’s my impression, more or less.
As long as it takes, plus until she makes me stop!
I like to hear I can’t take anymore no more please…
I stay until she forces me to stop. Most times 10-20 minutes.
I go until she’s cum at least twice and when she’s begging for piv
Sometimes it takes like 5-8 minutes, then sometimes it takes like 30min. Depends on your emotional/mental state, depends on the comfort level of both of you, & depends on the guys skill, oh and definitely depends on how turned on you are. But ultimately it varies per woman & whatever that time is, there is never anything wrong with it. I’ve had some partners like that but honestly only in my early mid 20s. Past that, I’ve seemed to pick the good ones who care about my pleasure
I usually stay down there until she finishes, and then I gently lick the inner/outer labia for another minute or two (in spots that still feel good but aren’t too sensitive).
Sometimes, she can tell that she isn’t going to get there, and she’ll pull my head up. But I never stop until she is ready for me to stop.
This isn’t difficult.
I stop giving oral to my wife when she tells me to stop.
Oral is normally foreplay, her vibrator makes her orgasm.
You should find a more giving partner. 30 seconds may be enough for a man to cum, but certainly not a woman.
As you can see, most men will stay as long as it takes. 30 seconds is laughable, so my guess is he’s not into it, has no idea what he’s doing and feels insecure, or there is a medical problem you haven’t noticed.
Do you do clitoral stimulation outside of sex with your partner? Could be overuse as well.
Until she taps out.
As long as she can stand it before she gets too sensitive — and usually beyond that if she doesn’t safe word. I like to make her orgasm and then keep going in a sort of pleasure overload manner. Then on to aftercare (water, food, and she likes tight tight cuddling so I will even lay on top of her and let her bask post orgasm).
There’s two ways I go down on her and we joke about it. Sometimes it’s for her. Sometimes it’s for me. I just love it so fucking much.
I like to spend at the very least 20 min down there. Most of that working from outside to the inside of her labia. Foreplay for us is generally about an hour then I go down on her then I work on her orgasm.
Try to ask for more if you’re not satisfied and if he only spends like a min there then blow jobs are also only a min long. Playing tit for tat works if communication doesn’t get you there.
Show him what 30 seconds does. If he only gives OP 30, then that is all HE gets. Then explain the reasoning behind it. If he complains, that is his problem.
It really depends if your partner is into giving oral. Some guys get off on it, and some don’t. I personally love it, and will stay down there until she orgasms, but everyone is different.
Taste is a big thing too. I’ll be brutally honest and say I’ve given oral and was completely turned off by the taste, but thankfully I have a girlfriend that tastes sweet as honey, so I’m all about it.
Maybe your partners were lying to you and were just being nice by saying you taste good? Every guy has his own preference, so it’s nothing to get upset about, you just have to find the one that loves giving you oral.
Just keep saying “don’t stop. This feels fabulous. Hold his head in there with your hands or thighs.
I usually go from 5 to 30 minutes, with like 10-15 minutes being most common. It depends on how the woman responds and reading her and what she wants. It’s something I enjoy immensely.
Until she surrenders.
At the end of the day it sounds like your partner doesn’t understand female anatomy or pleasure (porn falsely informs men PIV pleases universally) so you may have to sit him down with a nice video that explains that for most women pleasure comes from outside the vagina. Between the labia.. The clitoris is not a myth!
It can take anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour for some women to reach climax (there’s really no such thing as normal here) and there’s a lot of different variables that go into the female climax. For example sometimes a Nice full body massage beforehand can really help release the tension and lead to some otherworldly orgasms. (Both the male and female orgasm can be heavily affected by mindset/stress level, foreplay, the type of physical stimuli, how much water we’ve had that day, and almost an infinite number of other variables)
Everybody’s dynamic with their partner is different and is always best navigated with open clear communication.
I’ve always personally enjoyed pleasing my partner so as long as she’ll have me between her thighs that’s where I’ll have my face.
Once your partner knows your needs or desires they will hopefully be eager to deliver or at the very least take interest in making sure you’re also enjoying a mutually pleasurable experience. If they aren’t that may need to lead to a conversation or maybe a new chapter in your life.
But ultimately there’s no such thing as normal and so long as both partners are happy and enjoying themselves that is what is most important.
Edit: grammar and phrasing.
Until they accidentally try to crack your head like a walnut
I do it for as long as she likes.
She will normally let you know somehow.
20 to 30 minutes is not unusual.