Hi all. My boyfriend just lost his grandmother a couple nights ago. She’s been sick for a very long time. She had cancer, then beat it, but then it came back. She was an incredibly strong woman who I only met a handful of times, but I am so grateful for the moments we had.
I guess the reason I’m making this is because I don’t know how to support my boyfriend. He’s lost a lot of other family members (his grandparents on his dads side, an aunt, an uncle and a cousin) and says that he is okay and is pretty desensitized to deaths in my family. Meanwhile, I’ve never even been to a funeral. I’m so grateful for this as so many people my age have to deal with losses by now. But this also means that I’m not quite sure how to support my boyfriend.
He says he’s fine and doesn’t really need to talk about it, but I just can’t imagine that that’s true. We’ve been together for 2.5 years now so he knows he can talk to me about anything. I also understand that everyone grieves differently, so maybe I should just leave it alone. I really don’t know what to do or say. I want to be here for him but I also don’t want to force him to do or say anything he isn’t ready for.
Has anyone else been in a similar scenario (either dealt with many losses or had a partner that dealt with many losses) that can offer me some advice?
1 comment
Sometimes the best thing to do is to be a good listening ear and just let him talk. It can help to give him hugs and really let him know you’re there for him.
I think bringing him a favorite meal would help. Sometimes people forget to eat when they are grieving.
I think it also helps to do something different and creative to break up the funeral and everything that goes with losing a loved one. Think of something he really loves to do and make sure he gets to go enjoy it.
I would also make sure he knows it’s okay to cry in front of you. It’s really important that men understand they can express their feelings around their partner. Crying is healthy. Let him have his emotions.