My aunt insists that a man will freak out before making a commitment to a woman. Her experience: while discussing wedding plans with her fiance, he suddenly got up, \*ran\* away (slammed the door on his way out), and went down to the park to huff, puff, and pace back and forth until he’d calmed down (about 2 hours). Now, anytime I’m dating someone and they start pulling away it’s all, “Just give them time, they’re about to make a big decision with you; he just needs to freak out and he’ll come back around.”
I don’t know that I believe this (unless that’s what’s happening when I get ghosted), but what’s your experience when you decide to commit to a relationship?
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That may have been your aunt’s experience, but it sounds completely insane to me (M45). I’ve never heard anything like it.
This was not my reaction to wedding planning at all. M37 here, and nothing in my relationship has ever made me freak out so badly that I had to leave the house to collect myself, that seems like an enormous red flag situation to me. When I decided to propose to my girlfriend, I was only excited for our future together.
Sounds like you and your aunt both have an issue with trying to pressure men into commiting
As a man if I want to marry my girlfriend than I’ll decide to ask her and take the initiative to make it happen myself
If you gotta talk him into doing it than he probably dnt want to do it
That sounds like immaturity to me.
Who wants to marry someone who gets up in the middle of a discussion and walks away without a word to stew / calm down for 2 hours?
If wedding planning was that intense, imagine what the marriage is like. Ick.
But…I’ve committed to a few and have never experienced one of them storming off for hours.
I have no issues with commitment. When it came to the wedding I gave my wife some money and said tell me when and where. I don’t care what color the napkins are so you pick all that stuff. Worked out fine.
No offense, but planning for a wedding can bring out a very ugly side in some women. This may have been less a commitment issue than a wedding planning blow-out.
It’s certainly _not_ every man that will do this, but….it _is_ some, and I’m one of them. Give us the hour or two–we’ll come back. Didn’t do this at any point during the marriage process, but certainly did it while we were house-hunting/buying a house.
Now…if he’s doing this over, say….pizza toppings or something–yes, worry.
Do you mean ‘commit’ or ‘get married’?
They’re not synonyms.
Is it a generational thing or an American cultural thing to think of relationships as having defined, incremental stages? If I’m in a relationship then I’m already fucking committed from the start.
Your aunt is fuckin’ dumb.